Warriors Fall In! It's Time for formation.
Today’s guest is a military spouse who serves as a life coach and a resume writer. She strives to be a guiding light for those of us who need life mentoring and better vision when things seem cornered.
I can tell you from personal experience, when I moderated the Military Mix-Up in The Clubhouse App, our guest was an authentic mainstay who provided a countless number of folks solid advice and support.
Today, I am honored to have LaPora Lindsey on The Morning Formation Podcast.
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This episode is powered by Aktau education, go to www dot ACC now education.com For free comprehensive educational resources and opportunities for active duty veterans, military spouses, and children.LaPora Lindsey:
The reason why I wore the wigs was because I, I guess in a sense, I wanted to control what other people thought about me. I felt like, you know, having those wigs on my head because I had all different types. I felt like having those wigs on my head would give me the authority that I needed, it would give me the power that I needed. And that's so weird, right? Because it's like, when I think about it, in hindsight, I had no control whatsoever of what people thought about me, like, they may look at me and say, oh, okay, her hair looks like such and such. But that doesn't affect what I have to offer. I thought it did. And I thought that there was some controlling there. And I was letting those opinions, those unspoken opinions of what other people were thinking about me control what my actions were.KP:
Warriors fall in, it's time for formation. Today's guest is a military spouse who serves as a life coach and resume writer. She strives to be a guiding light for those of us who need life mentoring, and better vision when things seem cornered. I can tell you from personal experience, when I moderated the military mix up in the clubhouse app, our guests was an authentic mainstay, who provided a countless number of folks solid advice, and support. Today, I'm honored to have Laporte Lindsay on the morning formation podcast, the Pura, I want to thank you for joining us today.LaPora Lindsey:
Oh, thanks so much for having me. KP. I'm glad to be here. Thank you, honors all mine. And it's great to hear your voice again, after all those military mix ups that we did, where we had large military communities come in, and it was an all audio app. For those of you that don't know what the clubhouse app is, it was really crucial during the lockdown and during the pandemic for those of us that were seeking to connect with the outside world. And Lapera would always graced us with her presence, her great voice, and then also her skills and experiences, and overall support. So I appreciated all those times that you were there for me. Before I really, I really look back at that and think, wow, I really met some really marvelous people from our military community, and you're one of them. Wow, thanks so much. KP. Absolutely. It was a pleasure to be in the rooms. And thanks so much for taking the time to host that because I know that that was a lot of work. In those rooms. It was sometimes it was like two hours long. And but you know, as long as it kept going strong, I wanted to stay there too. So it was yeah, it was very, very challenging. And as, as things started opening back up, I had to start cutting out certain things. And unfortunately, that was one of them. But we'll jump right into it. I want to ask you the poor, what inspired you to become a life coach? And what has inspired you to also help others? I would say it's a number of things. That is the one thing that it's really hard for me to narrow down. And I you would think that because I get asked that question all the time. But there's not one moment, there's multiple moments. But I would say the biggest thing is my struggles as a military spouse, when it comes to career employment and the constant relocation of moving from one duty station to the next. That played a really major role in me wanting to be a career coach and a life coach. Because as I faced those struggles, and then overcame them, it's just like, and I and I have these conversations where I was having these conversations with other military spouses, I found that I was not the only one that was going through those things. And so that was kind of like, okay, all right. And then I guess, aside from that, the struggles that I've had with confidence at work or feeling like I didn't have any value to add, perhaps some of them that could have been indirectly related to being a military spouse, I would show up to certain places to work. And I would try to apply for promotions. And they would literally tell me that they're not going to give me the job because I'm a military spouse, because they know that I'm not going to be there forever or because I haven't been at a particular company for 10 years, even though I had been working in the field for 10 years because I had not been there for 10 years. They weren't going to hire me. So just dealing with those types of struggles. That was a really big a really big part of why I decided to take the route that I'm taking now.Unknown:
Yeah, it's it's really same situation for me when it came to transitioning out of the military, the struggles that I went through making life choices. Once you get out, you know you have two choices. You can continue on your own journey, or you can turn back around and help mentor and help life coach some of the folks that are behind you doing what you did, getting done what you did, but maybe going about it a long way, versus the most efficient way. And that's one of the reasons why I started the morning formation podcast. And I love networking with folks like you. And the poor, I saw that you wrote several articles for military spouse calm. One specifically was called step outside the box and stop looking for a job here. And today, we're talking about careers. And moving into the new year, one article I found specifically as written about the frustrations of moving to a new duty station and having to find yourself again, career wise. For anyone out there listening. Can you talk about the three things that you mentioned in that article to help military spouses cope with potential PTS, or I'm sorry, PCs, or ETS seeing potential moves that they might be doing in the new year? Absolutely. So I wrote that article, I think it was the third or fourth time that we had moved, and I was like, fed up at that point. Yeah, getting tired of it. Um, and I was, I had went ahead without my husband at the time, he had to go to like a school. So it's like that mid lala land point, I guess. But the three things that I mentioned, because I was struggling with getting a job at that time, was finding a club or an affiliation. So a lot of times when, you know, as military spouses, we're trying to find ways to fill the gap on the resume or even as active duty service members who are transitioning out, they want to know what else can they add, besides their active duty service, if you are part of an affiliation, if you're part of a club, or perhaps even joining one that aligns with your interest, join that club, volunteer for different projects that may come come as far as being part of that particular club, that you're that you're joining the, if they have missions, if they have activities, then take part in that. And you're you'll have the ability to be able to network to be able to know other people, and at the same time, you'll have something that you can add to your resume. The other thing that I mentioned is going to school, so continuing your education. And when I say that, first thing that a lot of people think of will is I don't want to go back to college or I don't want to go to college, or I'm not looking for a degree or certification. And KP, I'm pretty sure you can attest to this, there are so many educational opportunities where you don't have to have a college degree, you don't have to be looking to get a college degree. But simply just opening your mind to different educational opportunities. And especially for military spouses, there are so many free like that's the capital F r e like free avenues in order to be able to find an area that you are passionate about, or maybe just curious about, and continue your education. And as long as you're enrolled, that's something that you can put on your resume. And then the final thing is being able to start a business. So this is I have a business now but this is my second time going through this this route. And similar with once we moved did not have a job once we moved in, the timing just seemed right this time around, as it did that first time around as well. And it's really just about what is something that I'm passionate about. And then I feel that I can share and make money from it, which can kind of let a lot of people feel guilty because oh my gosh, how can I make money for something that makes me happy? But you can. And that's what entrepreneurship is about? Is it a lot of hard work? Absolutely. But the cost of starting your own business is relatively cheap. And it's showing that you're taking initiative. And once again, you have something to be able to fill your resume not just to fill it, but you're showing that employer that you are aiming for self progression, which is really important. Yeah, I really think that starting your own business is courageous and it takes a lot of courage to do so and a lot of time a lot of sacrifice involved in that as well. But I think the payoff in the ceiling is is so high that you can't even see it itself especially I feel like when you when you have a business it really it really supports the idea of you believing in yourself over you just checking into a job every day nine to five getting a paycheck comfortably every other week. So taking that leap of faith says a lot about you and your character a lot of folks out there really don't have that belief in themselves and they have to be inspired by someone like you the poor when it comes to making that jump so that's why I have great guests like you on the morning commission podcast a lot of pressure. No, you do a great job. I was going through your website and I you know I know you from from clubhouse and and I really feel like when you take the video element out of some of these things and you just listen to someone. You don't have to see them. You don't have to see their mouth moving talking, you know, you really get into the soul of who they are as a person and that's met a lot of folks on clubhouse And I really love that app for that reason. And I was going through your blog earlier. And I saw that you had a story about to fish. And I'll be sure for anyone out there listening to post these links to the show notes. I read that story and it made me think of resiliency. It made me think of the idea of a short story that I heard about. Scientist attempted to build a BIOS a biodome, and in this biodome, they planted trees in the biodome and they thought, Okay, we we create the perfect conditions, these trees are going to grow to great heights and they're going to flourish and be be very strong, right. And what happened was the trees would grow to a certain height, and then they would fall over. Because the roots, there was no strong grown roots into the ground because there was no wind, there was no natural disasters, there was no nothing to really push these trees to be resilient. And throughout my own life, like many others who are listening, I've had my own journey that has been checkered with emotional resiliency from childhood to even today. Would you mind talking with the audience about that specific story and what it how it can apply and what it means to our military community? Sure, absolutely. I love that story, by the way, about the the trees, because that's, that's very similar to the mystery about the two fish. So you have these two fish, you know, one that's living in the open ocean, and one that's living in this fishbowl, and the one that's in the open ocean, like you can just imagine all of the struggles and challenges like, it's like finding nemo a little bit, to try not to get eaten and fighting for their food. And it's hard to sleep at night because you don't know when the predators are coming. And the fish in the fishbowl has it made right? Like there's no struggle there, there's just kind of like, you get fed, only thing you have to watch out is maybe for little children that try to stick to their fishbowl, I don't know. But as the years passed by, when these two fish they met once and they meet again, you find that this fish that was in this big ocean, facing all of these challenges has now grown from them. And that is really just a metaphor, metaphorical or an analogy for us in our lives like, well, it's great to be in our comfort zone. And it's great to, you know, not to have to worry about the struggles and the challenges if we can avoid it. You know, avoidance is something that we all do at some some point or another. There's something to be said, for jumping into the challenges, jumping into those fears leaning into them, and being able to see how it can help us to grow, like whether we grow and height or whatever the case may be if we're growing in our ability to keep trying and moving forward. What else could we ask for? I mean, we could ask for a lot. But that's, that's a really good benefit for stepping into those challenges. Yeah, and I think that's a really important message, because a lot of folks out there, I wouldn't say a lot. And there's there's quite a few folks out there that come from less than ideal beginnings and starting out. And I was one of them that I started out and but by all definitions, I was actually told by guidance counselor in high school that I wasn't college material. And that kind of fired me up where I was like, Okay, well, I'm not college material, because my home life hasn't been ideal. And it's been hard to focus Why didn't know that back then now that I'm much older, I understand that now. You know, for for times like that, where you're told that you're not good enough. Or maybe you start off somewhere that isn't giving you the keys, you know, to the door, you got to find him. I think that that helps that story right there specifically helps people understand that, look, you don't have to start somewhere, that's going to be the easy path. Sometimes there's going to be obstacles, and I find it, I find it in football. I find it in sports, that sometimes people who are not naturally gifted athletically are forced to to work harder and overcome some of those some of those abilities that they may not naturally have. So anyone out there listening, definitely that blog, that blog post kind of spoke to me specifically. And it's something that I definitely think that people need to take into more consideration, especially in our military community. Because a lot of folks that do join the military. Many of us had our back against the wall, like it was one of those things where we weren't given a scholarship we weren't, you know, given the keys, I guess to to find that career, that career path, we had to figure it out for ourselves and why we're talking today le Pora. You know, we want to talk about 2022 2021 has been crazy. And for folks listening out there who are interested in trying to center themselves career wise. Can you talk about the actual acronym that you mentioned to me called Focus. Yeah, absolutely. So one thing that I have noticed as I, as I work with people as I talk with people, so people have a lot of hard time of focusing. And I don't mean that just in the acronym sense, but like, what do you want to do? Well, I want to do this, this, this and this, nope, nope, nope, let's, let's, let's try to narrow that down. And it's not to say that the other things aren't important. But there is something to be said for focusing in and prioritizing and determining that you're going to achieve one thing at a time. So there are five different things to keep in mind, as people are looking to focus. The first thing, it deals with that action, which is forward with fear. So even if you're scared about doing something, you're nervous about doing something, keep taking those steps forward. Like you don't have to take these gigantic steps, just take little steps and move forward. Excitement in fear are actually the same emotion, but it's just about how it's how it's utilized in our bodies. And so if someone is fearful of something, instead of saying, Don't be afraid, you can say something like, I'm excited, like, let's go, let's get this. So that's the F, the AU is open to opportunities, or open mindedness. And so with that, just be open for military spouses potential job opportunities, potential ways, as I mentioned before, as far as stepping outside the box, ways to kind of self progress. For servicemembers who are perhaps transitioning out of the military, like there are so many different ways in order to gain a successful career after transitioning out like that can happen, but you have to be open to those opportunities open to having conversations open to perhaps I know that there's this routine, right in the military, where everything is done a certain way, but open to doing things a little bit differently, and perhaps getting a different result. And so that's that, oh, and then the C is cultivating our relationships. And this is one that I really try to hone in, especially as I'm talking to individuals who are currently active duty. Because a lot of for me, from what I've seen, and I know that not everyone is this way, but from what I've seen, a lot of the relationships are transactional. As in KP, I'm going to talk to you because I want something not because I really want to get to know you for who you are, or I really want to connect and just, you know, just learn who people are get to know. It's no, I need something. So I'm going to have this conversation after that's done. We're done. And that is not a healthy way to to cultivate those relationships. So think of it as relational, as far as really just taking the time to understand people and connect with people because you never know who you can be there for. And you never know who's going to need you not necessarily now, but potentially down the road. But part of that is getting to know them. And then the U stands for unlearning on productivity. And we're so big on learning how to do things differently. I'm finishing up a book on reading atomic habits. And we're so big on you know, creating those habits, but a part of creating new healthy habits is unlearning the habits that we've had in our lives that are not healthy, and that are not productive, that are not necessarily moving us forward, like it moves us but like more like side side, like not really forward progress. And then that last letter is S, which is for strategizing. And this is about making those goals, setting those goals, prioritizing them, as I mentioned before, and then taking the time to focus on them, taking the time to focus on the action that is going to get you to that result and not the result itself. A lot of times when we're setting those goals, it's I want this particular job. And then that's the only focus but what are the steps that you have to take in order to get that job? What are the sacrifices or what strategies do you need to keep in mind in order to get to that point, so that's that focus there that fear for it with fear, open to opportunities, cultivating relationships, unlearning productivity. And then finally, finally, strategizing that seriously nails everything as far as as focusing. That's absolutely amazing. And some going back to what you talked about earlier about college degrees versus getting certifications. Yeah, those those small wins those small victories, those small accomplishments that you have, they really add up. So you definitely want to make sure that you're always taking a step forward in a direction whether it be a baby step or whether it be a stride. I love that message that that you have right there because you you talked about it earlier and you came back to it again when you talked about the acronym specifically, and I can't tell you how important it is to build those relationships to network. And in today's situation that we have with the internet, you know, if you're not an in person, person, but let's say, you and you don't want to get on the camera, you have clubhouse, you have different avenues, you have LinkedIn, you have so many social media platforms that you can utilize for that forward progress. Versus moving side to side, like we talked about, like, if you're posting stuff that really doesn't have a whole lot of value for others, and you're not networking, you're not meeting new people building relationships, then you got to ask yourself, are you moving side to side? Or are you moving forward? I love what you just talked about, specifically there Lapera. And I just want to ask you moving in to the next blog that I read, you write some really, really nice blogs, by the way, I thank you, I appreciate that. I, I can't tell you how much the blogs actually speak to me. And they they communicate with who I am where I've been my journey in itself. But your your writing itself actually helps me bring together what has happened in what I've experienced, and and helps translate it in a sense to where I fully understand that I'm not alone, that I'm not the only one that feels this way. And when I read about the alopecia that you had experienced a few years back, and how important it is to be authentic and to be yourself, which was something that you talked about with focus. And you mentioned that a blog, removing the fear of insecurities, and overall making yourself your most significant asset. Can you talk a little more detail about that journey that you had with alopecia and in more detail of the life lessons that you wrote about? Yeah, so with alopecia, my specific one was Ariana, which is they have different types, but with this one. So I went through years where like, my hair was just there were large patches on my head and bald spots. So and I could not like my hair was already short. So there was literally no way for me to cover it except for wearing wigs. And the reason why I wore the wigs was because I, I guess in a sense, I wanted to control what other people thought about me. I felt like, you know, having those wigs on my head because I had all different types. I felt like having those wigs on my head would give me the authority that I needed, it would give me the power that I needed. And that's so weird, right? Because it's like, when I think about it, in hindsight, I had no control whatsoever of what people thought about me, like, they may look at me and say, oh, okay, our hair looks like such and such, but that doesn't affect what I have to offer. And I thought it did. And I thought that there was some controlling there, but, and I was letting those opinions, those unspoken opinions of what other people were thinking about me control what my actions were. And when I decided that I cared more about myself more about me than I did about random people are literally just walking past the store. I got rid of them. I was like I'm done. Like I am completely done with these wigs I am done with trying to please others who they didn't ask to be they didn't ask me to put the wig on my head. I put it on there. And they were so uncomfortable. But I put them on there. And I was experiencing something that I didn't have to experience. I just needed to embrace who I was, and even embrace who I wasn't. In the sense of the future me like what does lavora with no wig look like? What does love Hora with? Empowerment look like, with no hair on her head? How can I be that person? And with confidence, a lot of times we look at it as confidence comes first and then the action. And maybe for some people it does before a good amount of us. It's the action first. The action brings on the confidence once you just step out there and you say I'm going to do it that for it with fear. You step out there and you do it. That confidence is going to start coming because you're going to see the result of taking that action. Wow, that is so true. It's so true. And would you say that many of us are our sort of our own worst critics when it comes to? Yeah, yeah, I mean, we've all experienced it. When I first started podcasting, I had people telling me hey don't don't quit your day job and don't you know, it's just you're gonna have a lot of that and I think sometimes we can kind of create the noise in our own head that's not being spoken and not being told to us but we're, we're feel it we feel like We're being judged. And it happens far too often, when we hear these invisible criticisms from other people. And I can tell you the poor that you are a are a true soul, when it comes to just being authentic, being yourself, like, you're the definition of that. And it's almost like closing your eyes and talking to someone. And that's kind of how you and I met, because I didn't, I didn't know what you look like I had no idea. But I could tell through your advice and through your voice and just through your your overall supportive others that you are very, very comfortable with who you are. And I think we struggle in a world today that people really fight with identity. Can you talk a little bit more about social media and, and identity as far as what can we do going into 2022 to just be more authentic with who we are, and as far as who we are, and what we want to become? Well, and this is one of the things that are easier said than done. But I have to say that I wouldn't share this if I hadn't put in the work for myself. So as a coach, I get coached. Because I want to coach somebody if I don't know what it's like. But, and one of the things that I've come to understand is what's so bad about you being yourself? Well, what's wrong with that? Right? Most people aren't going to have Well, I think really what people don't expect me to accept me What if they don't? Right? I mean, if they post something there, like they say it to your face, what is the difference there? There may be a difference there for someone, but it's not going to change who we are. And I will share this this. When I started using I wasn't using social media up until I had like accounts, but I really wasn't using it up until like, may or something of this year. I remember that. Um, yeah, cuz I think he looked at me, like I did, I said, so I said something. Like, I was like, Oops, sorry. Um, but uh, so a long time goes, like years ago, I did something, I guess new to know about me, I did musical theater. And I was in this one local community show, I was really young. And I had a solo and I didn't I really didn't do very well. And but it posted on YouTube. And this is like when YouTube like first came out. And there were so many negative comments about me singing that solo. And that that ripped me to shreds. It really did. It hurt, because I was young. And I was just like, nobody likes me. But at the same time, I had people who supported me. And at the same time, even though it was painful, and it hurt. I'm still here. Like it? What did it do? I looked at it eventually that took some some time. I looked at it as a point where I can grow from this. I know that I'm not you know, the the the best singer, but how can I grow? How can I get better from this? So we look at things sometimes as well. They're going to like all of these negative things. Yes, some of those negative things will happen. But what about the positive? What positive can come from sharing your story? What positive can come from you being yourself with you being empowered? What power can come from it? What positive can come from it? So we think about the negative? But what about the positive? So yeah, and it's it's not easy, putting yourself out there? And, and the thought and the worry of being judged by others is our biggest fear now in 2021, going in 2022. And don't, don't be fearful. Just be yourself because you can't be someone else. And we're all unique in our sense. And I can't imagine your especially early YouTube, what you went through having posted that, and I'm glad you shared that because when you tell me that story, it makes me think of your roots. And they're growing, they grew deeper, you know, and and, you know, you're gonna become that tree that grows beyond the ceiling. And you have and I mean, you're now a life coach, and you're helping so many other folks out there. I want to ask you so going into 2022 What are your own professional and personal goals for the new year? Um, consistency for one and that is for both personal and professional just being consistent like constantly, you may have heard the term constantly showing up. So even if it's a struggle, just constantly in can just being consistent, like with social media consistently posting content, not just anything, but things that I feel would be of help to someone. When it comes to me being a spouse and a mother, me consistently providing that value for my family, when it comes to my business, I constantly have to put myself out there, but I need to be consistent with it and in persistent, with the different avenues that I'm taking other professional goals, I am a part of my business as well, I am my business, I guess. So speaking gigs I insert, I'm an inspirational speaker. And so just really trying to find the avenues looking for more opportunities for that I'm hoping that that will increase. And I am working on a book which you know, about a self help book. And I started off taking the traditional publishing route. But what a lot of people don't know is that I have a plan B, and I'm thinking that I'm, I've started, I've already started working on the plan B as I'm working on the plan A and that plan B is to just self publish. And so as I'm still querying literary literary agents, I am working on finishing my book, because that book is going to be finished next year, like I wrote it down on a vision board two years ago. So I got a, I got to be on track with making sure that it that it rolls out whether or not it's the route that I originally wanted to take, just being sure that I'm able to take that route. And then I'm also lasting developing a career coaching plan, a program. And so I'm hoping to be able to roll that out as well. So those are my goals. And for folks out there that don't know what a vision board is, could you just briefly explain what that is? Sure. So a vision board is, is doesn't necessarily have to be an actual board. But it's something that basically shows you or you put together of the things that you are looking to accomplish. Um, ideally, it's something that you have control over. So for instance, if I was if I had the job that I had before working for the federal government, I couldn't necessarily say that, you know, I will get promoted, because I don't necessarily have control over getting promoted, what I do have control over is being one of the best employees that I can be or increasing my customer satisfaction that I have control over. So it's listing the things that you have control over. And it is placing them down saying, Hey, I'm going to eat more healthy, I'm going to work out more, whatever the case may be there. And you put it in a place where you're constantly looking at it just to remind yourself of what that goal is. And you're reminding yourself of when that goal needs to be accomplished. Some time that changed. Sometimes that changes, but it's really just dependent upon you, I keep mines on my laptop, and I literally copy and paste my face to every every, if I see a body that is where I want it to be like one of the things I want to do is a TED talk. So I took somebody's body, I don't know who but I put my face on there. I can like see my face at a TED Talk. I'm taking those necessary steps to get there. But that's just just an example of one of the things that I have on my vision board just to remind myself of what I need to do in order to get there helps. No, I've always heard that it's best to write down your goals and hang them on the wall. That way you can remind yourself every day we have distractions every day, and people will come into your lives and and they'll try to get you to do other things and and it's easy to get sidetracked and not become efficient and effective towards your overall goals. So I can totally see how a vision board can help keep you motivated and focused on on what you need to do to be accomplished, especially going into the new year. And Laporte, I want to ask you, for anyone out there that might be interested in having you for a speaking gig, maybe in person or virtually was Is there anything else that you typically specialize in or cover that would help them better understand if you would be a good fit to be part of their event that that they're having? Sure. So my core speaking topics is accepting rejection, all of the things that come with that with leaning into discomfort and self worth. So really just being able to understand what value you bring to the community that you're in or to the organizational structure that you're in. And emotional intelligence. And with that there's of course a lot of of subcategories, but the one that I tend to focus on is self awareness, although there are three other core components there as well. So those are my primary speaking topics. And then of course resonate. I do resume workshops, but those I tend to do with local organizations who are who are wanting them. But those of my keynote speaking topics, I would say, okay, great. And as far as rejection goes, you you wrote an article about that about it was the four ways to grow after rejection. And rejection sucks. It does. It's the worst thing in the world, from being on the seventh grade basketball team and getting rejected the last person cut off the basketball team. Rejection is something that you're going to experience throughout your entire life and it never gets easier. But would you mind sharing? What those four ways to grow after after getting rejection? You may have to remind me? Okay, I know I'm, I've been writing so much. So many steps. So one for sure. I wrote to wait a minute. Hold on. You. In. In this specific article. You mentioned a song. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. Thanks. I wrote one, and I posted it on medium. But this is not the one I posted on medium. So yeah, jump in, jump out. Yeah, turn yourself about Yeah, jump in, jump out, introduce yourself. childhood song. So yeah, we used to sing that song all the time when we were kids. So the jump in is really kind of, you know, for it with fear, just really jumping into it. Like, don't even I mean, you can take the time to think about it. But you really just have to get in there after you've been rejected just taking the time to jump in again, with the jump out, it is more so of a evaluation, a time to step back from the situation and take a wider scope, look at everything and evaluate, to take some time to balance. So many times, you know, after we've been rejected, like I see these posts where people are saying like they've like they've applied to 100 jobs in two weeks. I'm like, how is that like, even possible, without taking the time to evaluate and to see what has potentially gone wrong, and what can we do to improve the results that we're getting. So that's that jump out to bench about, turn yourself about. So hit turn yourself about that one is really just about finding additional after you do that evaluation, finding a different avenue, perhaps finding a different way in order to be able to, to not even just address that rejection, but finding a different route in order to be able to achieve the goal that you're looking for. And then introduce yourself, which this seems to be a common theme as well, it goes back into that networking with those cultivating relationships. Where if there is someone working in the industry that you would like to work in, and you're still getting rejections, introduce yourself, take the time to get to know them, be it, be it informational interviews, which is essentially talking to someone who is in the job that you would like to be in and just finding out how they got there. What was the road that they took, taking the time to introduce yourself to recruiters to be able to find out what potential job opportunities that are available that you may qualify for, or, and just being able to find different support groups where other individuals are in similar situations such as yourself, and you're just looking for a way to be able to get through that rejection, or you're just looking for some support. So introduce yourself and get to know people. Yeah, that's some great advice. And sorry, for the curveball, I just died. Yeah, so you have so like I said, you have so many great pieces of literature out there that you've written about life, and a lot of the things not just on your blog, but for other sources as well. And I just simply Googled your name, and boom, all these things came up and I was like, Wow, you really go in depth and you really do a great job as far as communicating and helping to formalize a lot of the thoughts and the things that people go through. And if anyone out there listening definitely got to read some of her writings because you're gonna be able to relate to a lot of them. And I want to ask you the pork. We're going into 2022 That's kind of our theme here. Do you have any tips for folks out there who are setting goals and seeking ways to stick to their targets for this upcoming year? Yeah, so the first thing I would say is find your values. That is going to be key. And the reason why I say that is for purpose. Not your career, if you don't, if you haven't identified what matters most to you, it's going to be hard to find that in the workplace. So for me, one of the things that I value is communication like and transparency within that communication. So if I work for an organization that doesn't offer that the chances of me having career contentment, or career fulfillment are relatively low, because my values aren't being met. And so I say that discover your values, there are so many resources out there that provide you with that opportunity. It's not necessarily something that is a one and done, your values could change. But it is important to be able to identify what they are. So that way, as you are looking for certain careers, or whatever the case may be, you are then able to strategize, you know, part of that focus, you're able to strategize and say, well, these are the companies that I would like to apply to, because these are the ones that meet my values, and you definitely want to make sure that they're met. And I would say that there is a difference between your personal values and your professional values. So being able to differentiate between the two. And sometimes there is an overlap, but that's going to require some research on your part. And so it's great to be able to go into the new year knowing that or even after the new year has started, and you're figuring, Hey, maybe I should now's a good time, it's never too late to start on discovering your values, because it can definitely help you in the relationships that you build with people in the future. And then the next thing that I would say is the thing that I am working on in the in the new year, or starting now is consistency, just being consistent. Whatever you are putting your efforts into, remain consistent. And I said that that was the last thing, but I have one more. And that is focusing on the actions that it takes, and not the results. Like you have your goals and you have your plan. And you have your vision board as a reminder of what you want. Focus on the actions that it take. And that's what that's what that planning is for. That's what that strategizing is for, you have to be able to clearly identify the steps that you need to take. Not everything is going to have an immediate result. In some some things that we work on for our goals, whether they're smart goals, or the big, hairy, audacious goals. Some of them we're not going to see it's like going to a gym, I can't go to the to the gym and expect to look like I don't know, like a bodybuilder after one workout won't work that way. It's going to take consistency. And it's going to take me strategizing and focusing in on that. And it's going to take me defining what works best for me. So that's it. I hope folks out there listening have been really listening to the words that have been spoken today. And one thing that you mentioned was actions and what early on when I started doing this podcast, Jay Salters, the founder of acne education, which by the way, if you're listening, definitely check out acne education calm because we talked about certifications being part of a, a big build towards your overall education, personal education outside of getting your degree, they offer a lot there that are free, absolutely free. And that's like the poor mentioned with a capital F free and it's unbelievable. But you can discover a lot there. One of the things he said to me early on was he just simply said execute. And I was like, yeah, like I need to execute. Like I need to just do it. I need to jump out there and do it. And if there's a couple things to take away from this interview, you know, don't worry about where you were, you're starting. All right. I don't know anything about podcasting. I don't know anything about the technical side of things. I've just been figuring it out over the last eight months or so. I just simply needed to take that first step, you know, and everything that Laporte talked about today, as far as focus that really encompasses everything that you need to do to find yourself more successful and to focus on your targets going into 2022. And to start start making that progress that you want at the end of 2022. I hope folks listening to this can kind of look back at themselves and say, Yeah, from where I was in January to where I am in December now and 2022. I've made a lot of progress. And I can tell you I personally have just over the last eight months. And a lot of that is attributed to having folks like you and my network lavora. And I'm very fortunate and to have folks like you and my network to reach out to for support. So I appreciate all that and folks out there listening, the poor folks out there listening and they want to follow you they want to check out your website. How can they do that? So yeah, there's not a lot of Laporte Lindsey's out there, so that's great. So If you on Instagram I am and LinkedIn la paura. Lindsey that's la p o ra li nd sey on Facebook because my personal profile is Laporte Lindsay, I couldn't grab that. So it's the laboral. NZ on Facebook. And then I also have a website as well, which is Lapera Lindsey calm I try to keep it as simple as possible. But yeah, so and KP like you mentioned, you Google me there are options, I believe to just contact me directly from there. But uh, yeah, I am happy to connect with anyone, even if you just have questions. A lot of people don't know what life coaching is, or career coaching is, and I'm happy to just be able to sit down and explain what it is or any questions that you may have, just let me know, I'll definitely put all the contacts and social platforms for the poor in the show notes. So if there's any questions, or you want to reach out, just go to the shownotes, scroll to the bottom, and you'll see all the different ways you can get ahold of her, whether it be LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, or Instagram is actually very entertaining. And in May, there wasn't a whole lot on there. But since then, she's been putting videos on there, you've been putting a lot of videos on there that are actually just like a minute to two minutes long, but they're very, very thoughtful, very insightful videos about how to think and how to perceive things that are happening in your own life. And you've been doing a great job with that. Lapera Thank you. I appreciate that. Honors, been all ours. And before we close things out before, do you have anything that you'd like to summarize and finish off to tell the audience I would say just just keep going. Like I know, it's there's a lot of struggles that hit the military community, because not only are you faced with the military life, but the additional stressors as well. But just keep going and stay focus, and you'll get there. Take your time, you'll get there. With that, with that being said, this kind of rolls right into the the final of the show where I say stay tuned, stay focused and stay motivated. And the poor, thank you so much for your time today. Really appreciate it. I'm looking forward to have you on the show again to do a follow up and to cover some more topics. So I really appreciate you and I hope you'll accept my future invitation. Absolutely. All right. As for the show again, stay tuned. Stay focused, stay motivated. Warriors, Fallout