The Morning Formation (TMF) Podcast
In life, we all face battles—some are visible, and others are fought within. The Morning Formation Podcast dives into the journeys of those who have not only survived adversity but transformed it into strength, success, and purpose. Hosted by KP Phillips, a combat military veteran, Bronze Star recipient, law enforcement veteran, and leader with years of experience in tactical training, this podcast explores stories of resilience, survivability, and transformation.
From the frontlines of Mosul during Operation Iraqi Freedom to the heart of Southern California, KP knows what it means to adapt and thrive beyond struggle. With guests ranging from veterans to athletes, entrepreneurs to community leaders, each episode uncovers how hardship forged their paths and led them to rise above and inspire others.
Whether it’s about bouncing back from personal loss, rebuilding careers after setbacks, or finding new missions in life, The Morning Formation Podcast takes you beyond the struggle and into the heart of real-life triumphs. Tune in, and discover how you, too, can turn obstacles into opportunities, survive the toughest of battles, and emerge a hero of your own story.
Warriors, Fall-In! it’s time for formation.
The Morning Formation (TMF) Podcast
Generations of Service: A Father’s Perspective When His Son Goes to War
From the changes in military training and the unique challenges of urban warfare to the emotional The toll of lost comrades, our conversation offers a rare, heartfelt glimpse into the evolving landscape of military service and its lasting impacts on our lives.
Hear firsthand accounts of the anxiety and constant worry that families face when loved ones are deployed. My father and I discuss how we coped with the daily stresses, the importance of maintaining communication during chaotic moments, and the often insensitive reactions from those who might not fully grasp the gravity of our experiences. This episode sheds light on the disconnect between soldiers' realities and public perception, aiming to bridge that gap through personal stories and reflections.
We wrap up by exploring the complexities of supporting a child who chooses to join the military. The episode captures the pride, concern, and mixed emotions that come with such a significant life decision. Listen in as we reflect on the transformative power of military service, the deep bonds it forges, and the enduring conflict between duty and doubt. Thank you for joining us in this candid, heartfelt discussion, and for supporting those who serve and their families.
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Here's fall in. It's time for formation. Today. I have my old man on the other end of the video and the mic joining us on the podcast today because I want to talk to him about something that I think wanes on a lot of, a lot of the minds of parents out there who have children who decide to join the military, and it's probably something that we didn't really think about early in 98 when I signed up to join the Army National Guard and then later on decided to go active duty army Kind of set a course for myself to be in the military. And then, of course, September 11th happens and then we get into two huge wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. And I know that when I got my commission I knew that at some point I would probably deploy, but I just didn't know when. I knew it was inevitable, but I just didn't know when that would happen. I didn't think it would happen at such a quick pace. At any rate, Dad, how are you doing today?
Speaker 2:Doing pretty good, massive hop here in Ohio.
Speaker 1:With you being in the military, you've been to quite a few duty stations and, being a small-town kid from Kentucky, what was it like when you were in the military for those 20 years, experiencing the winters in Germany and the summer climates in Hawaii and everywhere else you were at? I mean because you came from a small town in the middle of nowhere, kentucky. Right yeah, that was your world, yeah.
Speaker 2:I thought that was the world. Well, I didn't think too much of the cold winters in Germany and Korea, but I kind of enjoyed some of the summers in Hawaii. And I was also stationed down in Cocoa Beach, florida, for a while believe it or not as an infantryman, and I enjoyed that weather down there too. I just never did care for the cold weather. I enjoyed that weather down there too, just never did care for the cold weather, had enough of it in Kentucky, fort Knox.
Speaker 1:You spent a good five years down there in Fort Knox right.
Speaker 2:More than that, I spent five years on drill status there. Then I spent a year in an infantry company they only had one infantry company on the base and I spent a year in that company and I spent a couple of years in BRM committee group what it was called then working on the rifle range before I became a drill sergeant.
Speaker 1:I guess you were kind of fortunate because you were pretty close to home, weren't you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wasn't far, three hours maybe, from home when I was at Knox. Actually, I was at Knox. I came from Germany to Fort Knox and I was only there for a year until I got orders to go to Vincent in Italy but my mother was in the hospital and she was dying with cancer and I got a letter from the doctor and handed in it to the hospital or somebody at Fort Knox I can't remember whoever you turn that kind of stuff into and they gave me a deferment and I stayed there for another six years. I think remember whoever you turn that kind of stuff into and they gave me a deferment and I stayed there for another six years. I think, oh, wow.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that. It's interesting. I um, yeah, you, you were very fortunate back then. You were, you know, you were drafted in 71 during the Vietnam war and, uh, just due to your training and everything, you weren't sent that way, but you were sent the opposite way to Germany. The idea of war, I guess, was kind of still remnant in your mind because you had been through it during Vietnam. I'm sure you had a lot of friends. I know we had some family members go to Vietnam as well. Right, yeah, we did.
Speaker 2:We had some people go to Vietnam as well, right, yeah, yeah, we did had some uh people I guess there wasn't family members, but people that I went to school with very, very good friends with. Uh, three or four of them didn't make it back from Vietnam. So, uh, the people from high school I knew especially well uh, didn't make it back from Vietnam. I knew the. You know, I was in that big city in Northeastern Kentucky called Moorhead, where Moorhead State University is, and, as a matter of fact, my best friend that I kind of grew up in my teen years with was the very first person from Round County, kentucky, killed in the Vietnam War. Then the guy I played football with, big old fella, he was killed over there.
Speaker 2:One of my good friends was killed there but he was killed by one of his buddies. It was murder. His buddy killed buddies and it was murder. His buddy killed him in charge of murder. And then another guy that was a little older than me but he was related to me on 2 Mary was killed over there. So I knew a few I didn't make it back to Vietnam. A few from a small town like that is like having a whole lot from a big town, you know yeah, so it touched the community.
Speaker 1:And you went your entire career, for the most part without having any major conflicts between 71 and 91. I mean, we had things here and there, and we had a few things here and there, but nothing as major as Vietnam or anything like Iraq or Afghanistan, right? No?
Speaker 2:nothing real dangerous.
Speaker 1:Because even when I went to basic training in 99, we were still training for the Russians to come over the berm from the Cold War. We were doing the whole stand two thing and everything else, building the hasty position in the morning and the whole nine yards Warfare changed completely, completely to urban warfare when we went into Iraq and Afghanistan. I know that when you had me sign up in 98, 99, was the thought of war even in your mind at all?
Speaker 2:No, it really wasn't. I had gone for so long without being in a war. The United States had gone for so long without being in a war. I just didn't see it when the war did start, like you, you said it was more urban warfare which rendered all the training that I've done for 20 years, rendered it all worthless.
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, it's, it's crazy because I was ready to go out and fight in the jungle, you know, and sneak up, try to sneak through the dried leaves without making noise and stuff like that. That wouldn't have been any good.
Speaker 1:So I signed up for the military in 1998, technically at the end of 1998. Went into the National Guard in 1999, did four years, went to college, got my commission, decided to commission. That was completely for my country. I could have gotten out in four years with my bachelor's degree and walked out and I wanted to go active duty, which is what you instructed me early on. You stopped me from going active duty right out of high school. You instructed me to get my degree first and then decide if I wanted to go active duty, which I think is pretty wise, pretty wise advice. And I'm glad that you gave me that advice, because had I had just gone in and enlisted, I probably would not have been able to get my bachelor's degree back then, Back then. I mean, now it's a little different, but like you said before you had said hey, you know, I remember when I was a, when I was in charge of folks, you know, if we had something to do, and then they had college, well, they were going to do what we had to do first.
Speaker 2:Yeah, during that time, the Cold War era, soldiers signed up for college. The Army really did and my unit really did bend over backwards to try to not interfere with their education, the best they could. But you know, if a deployment or something came up, then they had to put that on the back burner. But that really wasn't very often Right. We tried to do everything we could to keep them going to school yeah, well, I appreciate you giving me that advice.
Speaker 1:Uh, and then so, when I I joined the military, I, like I said, by this time it was 2003, uh, when I got my commissioning and, um, september 11th was well underway, um, in 2001 way, in 2001,.
Speaker 1:We were active in Iraq and Afghanistan. At this time it was pretty hot in Iraq, afghanistan kind of cooled off a little bit End of 2003, fallujah happens, of course, and then later that year I deploy to Iraq as a second lieutenant. So we're talking about, I am literally, I'm literally, I'm literally fish bait in in the scheme of things. When it comes to the rank structure of officers, I am like the bottom, um, but at any rate, at any rate, um, so I, I deploy as a as, literally, uh, uh, the lowest of low rank for a commissioned officer, and then my job is as a platoon leader for a transportation platoon which, you know, back then there was a lot of IEDs getting set out, a lot of attacks on the logistical lines going to and from different points on the main supply routes in Iraq. Can you talk to me a little bit about how you felt about your son now having to go pay his dues and serve his country?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I knew you were going to ask that question, so I've had time to think about that a little bit, thank you, and I just guess I have to be quite honest. I thought about when you asked me that question, what am I going to say? And I think it's so different for everybody as far as I know that there is really no definite answer. I can't give you a, I can't put in words my feelings. I guess my feelings, I guess your feelings, are what you feel inside and words just don't describe it and make a picture out of it for you.
Speaker 2:But I can tell you that it was a time with the media, the coverage of the wars and what was going on in Iraq at the time. It was wars and what was going on in Iraq at the time. I've never been so worried in my life. I mean, it's just something you can't describe. You see what you see on TV and they try it. Of course they try to dramatize it and reach the hearts of the American people, I guess with the news. But I think it did reach the hearts of Americans that were involved, that had a relative or a child over there involved, that had a relative or a child over there. But I'm not really sure, even to this day I'm not real sure, uh, if the same coverage reached the heart of the average american that didn't wasn't involved in it anyway. They just I could tell if you go out and you try to mention, oh, I got a son in Iraq and he's running convoy, oh, that's nice, what's the weather going to be like tomorrow? They wasn't really interested.
Speaker 2:But for the person, for myself, I can remember just waiting and hoping every day. I knew I wasn't going to get a phone call every day, I knew that. But I kept hoping and waiting for that phone call just to ensure me that everything was okay. And you made it through another day and it really, really felt good. My phone rang and I looked and it was a call from you, because I knew that gave me another day and another convoy to worry about.
Speaker 1:I can't imagine what it must have been like, because at the time you were still working, going to work, and I'm sure the subject came up a number of times with some of your co-workers and your friends, who didn't have any vested interest, and I'm sure that they said things that probably hit you to the bone and might have hit home for you. Is that right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Before that, though, I was working in a factory and they couldn't work and talk on the cell phone, so I actually volunteered to go on third shift because they had less bosses there, less people to watch you. So when you called I knew on third shift I'd be able to answer the phone, run to the door where I could get better reception and talk to you for a while.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, most people were sympathetic with the soldiers in Iraq. From what I noticed, though, it seemed like the women were the ones that made the comments that I didn't like, and it was when I would show them a picture of a catastrophic event that happened over there, and they would look at the picture and they would say why are you showing that to people? Why would anybody want to see that? And I said, well, because that's what our young men and women that are in Iraq, that's what they're doing, that's what they're fighting for, that's what they live with every day. It's not who would want to see it.
Speaker 2:My thought everybody should see it. Everybody in the United States should see the truth over there, not just what the media pants and puts on there. I don't know, maybe it's because women are just more soft-hearted and what they didn't want to see some of the gore and stuff. But most everybody else that I knew was pretty sympathetic and pretty understanding, and most of them that I cared enough about to associate with on a daily basis, that I worked with. Usually every couple of three days they would ask how you were doing. I was happy to say that, as far as I know, everything's still good.
Speaker 1:It also helps, too, that I worked there for a few summers right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in fact, some of the people knew me, yeah, they knew you personally and I guess they were probably thinking this is the young man that used to be here. It's the same one we're talking about that's in Iraq doing his duty.
Speaker 1:I know that sometimes people can say things that can be not very sensitive to folks that are actually feeling the burden of something like that. I know you had mentioned that to me before, but some of the pictures you were showing people were the pictures and the videos I would send you right.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they were the truth. I knew that. That's what you saw for real on a database. And if the soldier, if you and all the other soldiers on active duty that were stationed over there, were seeing that every day, why would I not want people here to see what you're going through and see what you're seeing that?
Speaker 1:was my reality, yeah, and I always wanted to.
Speaker 2:That was my reality, yeah, and I always wanted to make it their reality too.
Speaker 1:You know, and I almost want to say that while I was there I felt like my mind and my body almost went to a I don't know. I guess I could describe it as a sleepwalking phase, because there were things that happened where I didn't put a whole lot of thought into it.
Speaker 1:But later down the road I thought about it and I was like why the hell did I do that? Like that was pretty dangerous or that was not very smart or that could have been very. That could have ended very badly for me and I plan on sharing some of those stories later on. It's taken me a very long time to talk about those things specifically. The one thing that I've learned over the years is going back to a time of your life where you felt stress and anxiety to a point where you thought maybe this might be.
Speaker 1:It is not easy for someone to talk about. It's not something that I've shared with a lot of people over the years. So, since having that, that perspective and having gone through that situation that you've been through, with me going to war and everything going on in the world right now I mean the world is on fire. The world is on fire right now and it's uh, I don't think a lot of people are thinking about war, I think I think people are thinking about war, but they're not thinking about the idea of them think a lot of people are thinking about war. I think people are thinking about war, but they're not thinking about the idea of them being a part of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1:It's more of a spectator sport for a lot of folks, in my opinion. I think people see it as kind of like something you watch on TV but not something that you do. What are your? What advice do you have for parents out there that have kids that are either in right now or plan on going into war or not war, Going into the military and might go to war?
Speaker 2:God, it's tough.
Speaker 1:It is, isn't it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know if I could really give them advice, except this is what we used to say in the Army hope for the best and prepare for the worst. If you have a son or daughter in the military and they're not in a combat zone, that's the best. But if they go to a combat zone, that's the best. But if they go to a combat zone and you see on the news that the exact location where they're stationed is in heavy conflict, that's going to be the worst. That's when the worst will hit home. That's when you wish that they had never joined the service.
Speaker 2:I used to think. I used to sit up at night and wonder how well you were getting along and what you were doing. I remember thinking specifically why do these teenagers and young men in their young 20s maybe get Thrown into combat and doing things that they have never done and have to grow up so fast? They should. This is what I was thinking. I was thinking they should leave them home to take care of the family and and take all the old retirees that spent 20 years training and getting hard. Take them over there and let them do the work. Send some of them young boys back home. But you know, I knew that wasn't going to happen. I think it's not what happened. When I got drafted. They drafted me. They didn't want some old man, but that's what I remember thinking almost daily. Why didn't they take me instead of him? Because I've been looking for this day for a while, I thought.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of veterans and retirees and folks that serve that feel the same way as you do and we're asking that question I had heard that before from other veterans as well where they wanted to sign back up and go in and serve their country. I think that overall it's a very difficult question because you know I was raised in the 80s and 90s where it was God and country and you know, being an American GI Joe fighting for what's right, you know you always think that, hey, if I put in that position, I'll go serve my country. But then we end up going to these wars like Iraq, for example. We end up going to these wars like Iraq, for example, and looking back at that now I'm going to tell you as an Iraqi veteran myself this might be a little controversial, but even today I ask myself why was I there? Because I don't know for sure. I was there for weapons of mass destruction, which none were ever found, and the country was completely destabilized for a long time.
Speaker 1:But I signed up for the military to serve my country right, so it's a double-edged sword there. Do the right thing for the red, white and blue. We've had family members in our own that have served our country over the years World War II, and then Vietnam, of course, that have served our country over the years World War II, and then Vietnam, of course, that have served proudly. So it's kind of a double-edged sword, I think, for parents to hey, yeah, go serve, serve your country, do the right thing. But on the other hand it's like are you getting put in harm's way, unnecessarily or something else? I think that's what I've come to, come to my own terms, I think in the last like 15, 20 years or so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think. Uh, I learned through my career that if that question comes to mind, you're better off with the question of am I supposed to be here? Am I doing the right thing? You're better off just to try to shove that question off to the side and don't even think about it. Try to push it out of your head and listen to what your mission is, Listen to your superior officer and whatever they say. That's my mission. I'm doing it because that's what I swore I was going to do. And is it right or wrong?
Speaker 1:You can figure that out later.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do that after you get out.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, no doubt I mean I could. If I was distracted my whole time there, I would not have been able to think clearly. That's actually really wise advice, because anytime I've heard this once that when you get your mission you ask am I, what am I doing? Where am I? Right now, I'm at war. What am I doing? I'm fighting this war as a soldier, as a marine, whatever it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah whether it's right or wrong I'm here, right, right or wrong.
Speaker 1:I'm here. This is what I gotta do. I gotta make it, I gotta survive, I gotta bring everyone back, that's it. But yeah, in the last 15 years or so I've kind of pondered that question to myself and, like I said, I went into kind of the sleepwalk phase during that time. But taking it back to what you said earlier, when folks would ask you about me and they would ask about where I'm at, did you ever get annoyed with the idea that some folks would ask you where I'm at and then you would tell them and then they would go oh OK, well, that's, that's in a safe area, that's behind the front lines, that's behind the redcoats.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everybody thought that for a long time At least this is an impression I get. For a long time everybody thought the only bad place in Iraq was Baghdad. If it wasn't in Baghdad, you was okay. Where the hell is that place at either? I've never heard of that one. It must be a good place, a safe place, but that's what seemed to be to me.
Speaker 1:Baghdad was Iraq, that was the war, not Baghdad yeah, you know, what's interesting too was what I found out later on was I ran into a lot of your former NCOs who were now sergeantors when I was over there and they looked me up and down and they saw no Ranger tab and they saw that gold bar on my collar and was like they asked me what the hell happened to you. Your dad was a. Your dad was a was a Ranger. It was air assault, all these other things and a freaking drill sergeant for five years. But it was in a joking manner, you know, of course. But also too, I think what I found interesting later on was to find out that I had like a second cousin that was involved in the whole Blackwater ambush and just so happened that you had worked with him up at East Range as well for for a few years. Is that right?
Speaker 2:Yes, it is yeah. As soon as I saw his name I knew he was related to your mother. We talked and found out he was a cousin.
Speaker 1:He was from the big Island, right, and then he retired. He was a Ranger as well. He retired and and obviously decided to go back into contracting with blackwater. Yeah, that's what I understand here. Yeah, and he was one of the I think one of the three or four that was ambushed there in pelusia and was hung from the bridge, um, and burned. But did you even realize that at the time when I was over there?
Speaker 2:No, I did not, not that I recall at that time anyway, yeah, I don't think they really. I'm not sure You're the one that told me about it, and exactly when that was before you went and after you came back, I'm not sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember the incident and seeing it on the news but I didn't know he was involved in it. How would you say that overall? You know, I didn't know that you worked third shift, just so that you can get my calls. I want to say thank you for that, cause it wasn't easy sometimes calling and and I had to go to the little phone station and hope that it was working that day, hope that it wasn't knocked out, but I tried to call you.
Speaker 2:I had my phone number changed too. You can call Flight Patterson Air Force Base vicinity in Fairbourn and I had a, I think a Springfield number I believe it was a Columbus phone number and I had it changed to a Fairbourn number that I still have today and it's been several years ago.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there was an area that I used to walk to from where I was living and I there was like these field phones that the that the comms unit had set up. It literally was like a OD green phones that were kind of under these concrete bunkers. And I would go there and when you picked it up you hit a button and you could hear whether there was a tone there. And I would go there and when you picked it up you hit a button and you could hear whether there was a tone there. And so if I heard the tone I knew, oh, it's working today, so I could call. So then I would call right Pat and then right Pat would patch me to you, and so that was one way.
Speaker 1:There was another phone bank that was on the base but it was further away from me and, um, I was sitting in there one day, I think I was talking to you and then all of a sudden the phone just went out like that, and what had happened was a mortar had landed just outside of that, just outside of that phone bank, and had knocked out the power completely, literally just right outside. And I didn't. I guess when the mortar hit it didn't explode, but it was just enough to knock out the power and then that was it for about two weeks. I couldn't call for two weeks after that, but that's uh, I'm sure that was a long 11 months. And during that 11 months, how do you feel like you feel that was a long?
Speaker 2:11, a long two weeks when I didn't hear from you too.
Speaker 1:How do you feel like you coped during those 11 months?
Speaker 2:The same way you did, the way you coped with being in country and dealing with the war. I watched a lot of news. Every time the news came on I had to be there in front of the TV and see what's going on. I want to know, I want to know what's going on. I want to know, I want to know what's going on. But I was like you. I was just kind of in that sleepwalking phase and just taking everything one step and one day at a time. I didn't try to overguess and not do too much thinking at one time, but I was. I think I was in that. I knew exactly what you were talking about. When you said you were kind of in a sleepwalking phase, I was too. It was really hard. It's something that I don't think any person will ever know until they're put in that position and then they'll understand.
Speaker 1:That's the thing too, is you know, from what it sounds like today, a lot of parents are. You know, the army has missed its quota the last few years and the military in general has had a very difficult time recruiting. Do you have, on one hand, yes, it's difficult to send your kid off, it's hard to let go, it's hard to let go, it's hard to let them grow up, but on the other hand, you have to, you have to let them grow up. So it's a double-edged sword, like I said. Right, I've heard a lot of parents and anyone that's listening to this right now. If they have a kid that's thinking about joining the military, they're going to do it, whether they want to or not. What would you say to those parents?
Speaker 2:well, from my perspective I've been in for 20 years. Since you made it in and out safely it's pretty easy for me to just say turn him loose. It's like giving a horse some reins let him go. If it's like giving a horse some reins, let him go. If that's what they want to do, then support him, let him go.
Speaker 2:It's hard, you know nowhere near the same intensity. But when you're you give the kids keys to the car when they're 16 years old and they just got their license yesterday and they're going out with their friends and they come home at one or two o'clock in the morning, you worry about them. You can just kind of take that intensity of how much did you worry and multiply it by about a million times. That's what it was like when the feet hit you around in a combat zone. But you have to let them go, just like you have to let them have them car keys and go out on their own. I can very well remember when I got my key how stupid I was when I was 16 years old and I imagine the kids are pretty much the same today. But you just got to take that chance and let the good Lord take care of the situation and hope for the best.
Speaker 2:I can't say. There's been times that I've said I wish my son had never gone through that because mentally I'm not sure. Like you said, you don't talk about it a whole lot. I'm not sure but, like you said, you don't talk about it a whole lot. But I know I'm proud of what you have accomplished military-wise and I think, in my opinion, I think it has made you what you are today. Without the military I don't think you would have been the same man that you are today.
Speaker 1:I agree, I agree big time. I tell you what, in that one year, in those 11 months, I grew up a lot. I grew up a lot. I grew up, I learned a lot, things that I still, things that I learned there. The values leadership-wise that I've picked up there I I still use today.
Speaker 1:It made that big of an impression on me and I think for parents out there I'm going to say this much yes, it's hard to let go, but I can tell you this much right now I have a lot of family and friends that didn't join the military and they're a lot worse off than you are and a lot worse off than me.
Speaker 1:I've gone through drug addictions, have gone through a lot of bad things, but I feel like and here's another thing too I feel like this, and I'm going to say this and I don't want to sound like I'm some kind of hero or something like that but if my young life at 24, because I do know people that died over there that were my age I don't want to die, nobody wants to die, but if I were to have, if my number would have been called at the end of the day, I think that I would have much rather have been doing that than have overdosed in my own apartment, somewhere, like at the end of the day, doing something honorable and going out, because death, death is the one thing that's guaranteed for everyone Everybody. You're going to die. One way or another You're going to die. I would have much rather have done it, serving my country, making my family proud and making my community proud, and it's not something I want.
Speaker 2:But Right, yeah, I think everybody understands that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I'm just saying like it's you know and it's I know a lot of folks that died young doing less honorable things, unfortunately. So it is a double-edged sword. At the end of the day, it is the hard right versus the easy left joining the military. But if you make the most of it, in my opinion, I think it can change your character, change your life, change your perspectives overall, because it gets you out from behind the protection of your parents, the protection of last time when I was in Hawaii, you and one of your best friends came out to see me.
Speaker 1:You guys came out there for a couple of weeks before I deployed and I remember, like thinking to myself taking you to the airport in Honolulu. I remember thinking to myself like this might be the last time and you know I'm leaving here in the next three weeks or so and I may never see them again. And that's I'll be honest with you. Like even when I deployed, it was really hard. I I had a nervous breakdown, I I was like stressed out and I when it. You know, and it's funny because you, you hear these very, very non-sensitive things being said where folks will say, well, that's what you signed up for.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I signed up for. It's not easy. It's still not easy. I think that's one of the worst things you could possibly say to anyone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so I think so It'd be the last thing I wanted to hear from somebody. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I've heard it before. I've heard people tell me well, you deployed, it's what you signed up for, it's probably. I mean, you're looking for an ass whooping when you say something like that to someone who signs up to do an honorable job. You know Exactly up for to do a honorable job, you know exactly so. But anyways, I, um, I just wanted to put together this podcast because I know I wanted to capture how you felt during that time, um, when I had to go to war, when I had to actually go and stand in line and wait to go into the uh, into the fold of everything that was, you know, happening back then.
Speaker 1:And it was. It was incredibly difficult because everything that we saw on tv and everything and and it was, it was real. I mean, that was everything you saw on tv was what was going on. There was ieds, there was vehicle born ieds, there was all kinds of just stupid shit going on, and that was my reality while I was over there, having gone outside the wire multiple times and even in the capacity of a convoy platoon leader. I was also very fortunate to have experienced all that as well. I mean, I have a lifetime of stories to tell, but is there anything else, dad, that you want to add to this, this podcast, specifically talking about having a child go to war and join the military?
Speaker 2:No, I think I can sum it up by saying that and the feelings at least the ones I had, and I'm pretty sure it's what many parents have had is feeling is something I can feel, something I know in my heart, but it's also something I just don't have any choice, I just have to take it to my grave because I cannot explain the worry. I can't explain that much worry in mortgage. So maybe me and another parent that had been through the same thing, a friend maybe, had a kid going through the same thing, we could talk it over. But some other than that, it's just your feelings, that's what you got to. You can't tell nobody. You can't explain it nobody. You can't explain it. I can't explain it to you. But when you have a kid, go in the military and possibly put in the same situation that I was put in with you, then you'll start understanding well, I want to tell you this much that over the years you served as a role model for me.
Speaker 1:whether you it or not and I know nobody's perfect, by no means you set a standard for me to live up to when I was a kid rangers that I ever knew, especially when you took me up there to East Range there at Schofield Barracks and took me around your friends and out there at the air assault school.
Speaker 1:That's that's how I grew up. I grew up as a military brat. I grew up around the military. I grew up with all the pros and the cons and the goods and the bads that come with that, with the crazy marriages, the moving from place to place, you know, never being able to really establish any good roots.
Speaker 1:A lot of young adults today don't have a strong male figure in their life. Have a strong male figure in their life and I think that's one of the biggest problems that we have in our country today is just everyone's mental toughness and standards to live up to. And I'll say this much like anytime I ever went through it, whether it was in training or when I was deployed I thought about you and what you would do in that situation and it got me through basic training. Even when I went through my deployments, man, I would look up at the stars at night and think about everybody back there in Ohio and just wonder if you guys were looking at the same stars and just thinking about hey, I wonder if anyone's thinking about me right now.
Speaker 1:So, at any rate, I just want to say thank you for providing a good base for me. I'm completely content with where I'm at now and I owe it all to you, and I just want to say thank you for being my dad and thank you for being such a strong role model in my life.
Speaker 2:I don't deserve much credit. You built your own man and you have done very well. I'm very proud when you come home. You built your own man and you have done very well. We're proud when you come home to introduce you to my friends that I've made out here and say this is my son.
Speaker 1:Like I said, nobody's perfect, by no means. But hey, we all try to do our best to make the right decisions and do the right things. Overall, I owe it to you to have the life that I have right now. I mean that bottom of my heart.
Speaker 2:Thank you. I'm glad you feel that way. You're the one that made your own land.
Speaker 1:Dad, I just want to say thank you for sharing your thoughts about the subject of today, which is having a kid going into the military specifically for war. I know it's not an easy answer, but I appreciate you sharing it with everyone and putting it out there. I'm happy that I can capture these sort of podcasts with you. Well, thank you much. I enjoyed it. All right, folks Just want to wrap this up. Dad, thanks a lot. I appreciate your time today For everyone out there. If you haven't subscribed, please subscribe. Dad, let's wrap this up. Let's get out of here For folks out there. As always, I want you to stay tuned, stay focused and stay motivated. Warriors all out.