The Morning Formation Podcast
Hosted by KP Phillips—a U.S. Army combat veteran, former law enforcement officer, and seasoned instructor in tactics, firearms, and combatives—The Formation Podcast is built on the core pillars of Survivability, Situational Awareness, and the mindset to Adapt & Overcome.
Drawing from over two decades of real-world experience in combat zones and high-risk environments, KP leads authentic conversations with warriors, protectors, and everyday individuals who’ve faced adversity head-on. This podcast is more than content—it's a movement for those who understand that the fight begins before the event.
Through storytelling, lived experience, and expert insight, The Formation Podcast equips its listeners with the mindset, tools, and awareness to remain vigilant and prepared—whether on the battlefield, in the streets, or in everyday life.
The Morning Formation Podcast
Steel Sharpens Steel: Combat Veteran Shares Leadership Lessons with SFC Alexander Stewart
SFC Alexander Stewart returns to share insights on leadership, resilience, and mental health advocacy, exploring how military experience shapes character and the universal lessons we can learn from service.
• Stewart is preparing for a 22-mile ruck march for Hick Strong, a nonprofit providing free counseling for service members
• Failure should be viewed as an opportunity to grow rather than a reason to give up
• Stewart's book "Unspoken Words" has helped bridge understanding between veterans and their families
• Growing up with a military father and professional boxer shaped Stewart's guardian mentality from an early age
• Today's military recruits face different challenges and motivations than post-9/11 generation
• As a drill sergeant, Stewart recognized the profound influence instructors have on young recruits
• True leadership involves providing purpose and direction, not just authority
• Stewart now speaks to trauma therapists to help them better understand veteran experiences
You can find Alexander Stewart's book "Unspoken Words" on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target, Walmart, and most online retailers. If you're struggling, remember it's okay not to be okay - reach out and find the help you need.
Check out our website
Please Support & Donate to the Podcast: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/themorningform
USA Made socks with a Purpose. 20% off with code: TMF
https://www.solediersocks.com/tmf
Episode Powered By Act Now Education
Warriors fall in. It's time for formation. I want to welcome you all back to the Morning Formation Podcast, where we shine a spotlight on resilience, leadership and survivability. Today we're bringing back a wonderful guest whose first appearance left us with a very powerful impact. Sergeant First Class Alexander Stewart is not only a decorated combat veteran and an active duty leader. He's a mental health advocate, motivational speaker and the author of Unspoken Words. In our last conversation, alexander actually shared his journey through three combat deployments and his evolution as a leader and his unflinching honesty about the invisible wounds of war. But there's more to his story and I wanted to make sure that we got back into it again and we covered it. He went into great detail and a lot of the things that he said last time really hit home for me and really resonated with me. Man, it got me a little emotional. So, Sergeant First Class Stewart, thank you so much for joining me on the Morning Formation again.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Thank you for having me back.
Speaker 1:Dude, it's rare to meet someone like you because, at the end of the day, like you are still in it, like you are still in the military right now, but you're able to articulate a lot and I can say that when I was in the military maybe it was because I was younger, I don't know what it was, but like it took years for me to process a lot of the things that you talked about last time. It's almost like your brain is at a more mature level than I think most of us that serve in the military and get out. It takes usually it takes people years to process, but you have this interesting, very interesting like perspective on a lot of things that make sense. So, um, it's great to have you back on the show man and, uh, since our last conversation, um, have there been any new developments in your advocacy or your personal projects? You got going on.
Speaker 2:Uh yeah. So I just committed to do a 22-mile ruck march for a nonprofit called Hick Strong. I'm going to be doing that sometime here soon and the goal is to try to raise a little bit of funds for them. What they do, yes that's the one.
Speaker 1:That's right. Yeah, yep, thank you, by the way.
Speaker 2:What they do is they provide free counseling that does not report to the command at all, for active duty and for veterans. So you know it's over the phone, it could be virtual, but the fact of the or having to deal with the stigma, all of that isn't there and it just gives them an entity outside of the DOD to access. So I think it's a great program. I know the parents that run that program very well, so I figured I would do what I could, while also, you know, making sure I stay in shape. So we'll we'll see how that goes here soon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I saw you, man. I snook um on your social media. You've been working hard, like mornings, nights, you've been putting it in man. So that's that's really important for just your mental health as well, right.
Speaker 2:Absolutely that, and you know you to keep the dad bod looking good always.
Speaker 1:What is the dad bod? It's just like having a barreled chest and like no definition. I guess that describes me to the T man.
Speaker 2:I always tell people you have your typical dad bod, which is the one everyone talks about with like the slight gut and stuff, but then you have the distinguished father figure. So I'm trying to work on that one. I'm trying to graduate from dad bod to father figure.
Speaker 1:You're going to write the definition of that one man. It's going to be a picture of you next to the father figure versus the dad bod. You're creating a whole new genre of like older males that work out. New genre of like older males that uh, that work out. Since the last time we talked, man, um, looking back on the podcast and the conversation that we had, was there anything that you wish you had expanded in? Uh, expanded on or explained differently?
Speaker 2:No, you know, uh, I think we covered a lot of stuff uh, decently Well, we got a lot of information, a lot of stuff out there in the time frame that we had. I would probably say that, you know, we could focus a lot more on just like mental mind state and how to get after, you know, becoming what you want to be and developing yourself into that end state goal and developing yourself into that end state goal. But outside of that, I'm pretty sure we're fairly confident that we covered a lot of stuff in that timeframe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Sometimes people go back and they listen to something that they said or something that they mentioned in a topic, and then they wanted to kind of go back and, I guess, make sure that they were clear on their message overall, and I think one of the things that I see over and over and over again in today's world, in today's upbringing of leaders, is digesting and processing the concept of failure. What are your thoughts on that? As far as you know, in the military, it's always drive on, drive on. What are your thoughts on that? As far as you know, in the military, it's always drive on, drive on. What are your thoughts on that as a leader?
Speaker 2:So I think that a lot of people get into their heads that you know failure is not an option and if you fail at something, then you know you should just give up or walk away, when in reality people need to start going back to looking at failure as a chance to grow. I just recently spoke to a service member who was going to the promotion board and didn't make it and they were kind of, you know, getting on themselves about it and I said, well, what'd you do wrong? And they told me the things that you know they got wrong. And I was like okay, so what's the plan moving forward, how are you going to focus on these things, to improve yourself, to like well, I don't know if I want to go back anytime soon. I said, why not? You have a whole month to fix the small things that you didn't do right. Go right back and get right back at it. It's not that you failed or that you weren't good enough. It's that you weren't ready at this point in time to become, you know, that next level that you want to become. Someone went out of their way to tell you hey, you know, if you fix these one, two, three things, then you're ready. So why would you now, you know, retreat and back out, instead of just, you know, putting your head forward, leaning into it and tackling those few things and then going right back out there and, as a leader, those few things and then going right back out there and, as a leader, you know, if people see you do that, versus you know backing off, they're going to respect you more, because that is what a leader does.
Speaker 2:Failure is not, you know, the absence of success. Failure is the opportunity to kind of readjust yourself and then go right back at the same task. Maybe you could fail four or five, six times, but as long as every time you fail you take something away from that failure and then you go right back at it and you grow and you learn. You didn't really fail, you just had an opportunity to learn how to be better. I love a quote that I used to hear all the time. I'd rather I don't remember who said it, but someone said I'd rather fail than succeed, because from success you don't learn much, but from failure you can learn everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I've learned a lot more from failure than I have from success. No-transcript. I always thought there's two different types of leaders. There's the types of leaders that have the battle scars from making their own mistakes and learning, and then there's a type that just read from books and imagine what that's like, and I think that's huge for people Like, if you mess up, it's okay, learn from it. That's the most important part. Just pick up and move on, um, and just share that experience with others. Don't be afraid to say, yeah, I I fucked up as a leader. Uh, this is what I did, um, because other people like to know that they're not alone in in making these types of decisions too. Man and I just I feel like that's a common theme lately in my life is just a lot of young people just feel like man, I'm a failure, I failed, my life is over, and I'm like are you kidding me? You're still alive.
Speaker 2:There's people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, absolutely. You know, and you heard it when you were in the military. And I tell people all the time now, personally I've never been counseled, I've never gotten in trouble with anything. But I tell them all the time I'm like there's not a Sergeant Major in the Army that hasn't gotten an Article 15 or something down the road or everybody's gotten in trouble for one thing. Now I've been chewed out, but I'm weird.
Speaker 2:I used to get made fun of, especially by my peers, because they'd be like you've never been counseled. I was like, no, I got a couple, cause they'd be like you've never been counseled. I was like, nah, I got a couple, I got a couple like positive performance counselings, but I've never had a written on paper like counseling for doing anything. If ever I did something, uh, it was usually a talking to. I did do one thing one time that definitely deserved something. Um, but they, uh, they, they, they definitely let me off the hook because it was on deployment and it was just something I said over the radio, not realizing that the radio was being monitored by other like nations that were, that were in the coalition force, and it was me commenting on on a coalition force that did something to me that day.
Speaker 1:Oh, that sounds like it could have caused another war.
Speaker 1:I um dude, I I honestly man, I I simply think that, um, when it comes to, when it comes to screwing up there, I mean the, the the most important part of all that is that you basically share that with others and you grow and you move on, you accept it, you take the responsibility, you take the accountability, and I think that's a huge message for a lot of people out there. Your book, unspoken Words, covers a lot of like your thoughts, feelings, expressions about your time in the military and just your life in general. What feedback have you received from fellow service members or veterans about your book?
Speaker 2:So you know, honestly, I didn't know what I was going to receive when I first did it. I put it out there and I'm like I'm going to try to help somebody. You know, maybe it'll help one person, but I've actually never met a service member up until this point who has given me any negative feedback on that book. The worst feedback I've gotten is a why the hell would you put this on paper? What are you trying to do to me, man? Kind of thing, you know, not anger or not judging, but it was, you know, just something that they weren't ready for. And you know, when you tell somebody, hey, I wrote a book, you should check it out. It just covers some of the struggles that we go through, you know they expect it to just be like a book. But nine times out of 10, when I talk to somebody specifically, I talked to a good friend of mine who just did a show with me not too long ago and he said he had to you know, dog ear like three or four pages in the book and then come back to it later. I've also had a friend that was in the Marine Corps who was shot in the chest and then got a Purple Heart and was discharged and he had my book and you know my book's not long in any way. It took him two and a half months to make it from the beginning to the end, because he said he would read one and then he would have to like think on it for like four or five days and he also just was I don't want to say afraid, but kind of reluctant to touch it again because he didn't want to go back into that, into that mindset. He wasn't ready yet. But after like two and a half months he finally like messaged me. We talked about it but I think the best feedback I've gotten thus far.
Speaker 2:I had a friend of mine who's currently overseas do a veteran forum with me last month and I did not know this, but he has gone through a lot of stuff. He went through infertility that he talked about on my show with his previous spouse, a divorce, all of this stuff, suicidal ideation, and then he remarried and he has this amazing wife that is trying to, or was trying to, understand what was going on with him when it comes to post-traumatic stress and just his time in service. And what he had told me was one day he took my book and left it on the coffee table for her and said I'm going to work. If you want to know what's really going on, read this and then maybe we can talk when I come home. And he told me the day he got home after work.
Speaker 2:That day he was met with tears, compassion and understanding for the first time, like ever, and I was on my forum, you know, and I'm trying to keep my composure, and he's got me tearing up hearing this stuff, because not only is he a friend of mine, but we have been in two units and we've been deployed together and you know, and to hear your friend tell you hey, I, you know, had this weapon to my head before and I was in this spot and I was stuck, and to have a close friend tell you that I used your book to finally climb out was kind of it for me. I think that's gotta be the high so far for me as far as, like you know, the best feedback and feelings I've had from that book. Cause you, you do this stuff and you know you do podcasts and you go and talk to try to help people, but then when you find out that, like you're starting to help people that are the closest to you. I mean, it's just a whole nother level.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I was talking to someone yesterday and they just kept asking me why, why, in a sense of like they're asking me, why do you do the podcast? Why do you volunteer for nonprofits? Why do you like why? And they kept going into detail about it and it got to a point where like enough why's got me to be very emotional about it and I got to the truth of why, why I care about community, why I care about others.
Speaker 1:I think a lot of veterans don't thrive in the civilian sector because we care too much about the neighbors, we care too much about the community. We're not selfish enough because we care too much about the neighbors. We care too much about the community. We're not selfish enough and um to to really thrive and make the big bucks and all it's. To some extent you got to kind of be a selfish asshole to make a lot of money and that's unfortunate that. That's just how it is. But I think a lot of veterans just really care about community. Where do you think your care about your fellow man, your fellow woman? Like? Where do you think that starts with you? Like, what? Like? When did you develop that?
Speaker 2:so I know, for me, I was raised by a soldier, so I was always taught that if you can defend somebody who can't defend themselves, you do it. If you have the ability to feed someone who's hungry, you feed them. You know, if you have the ability to help someone who needs help, you help them. You don't ask them how they got in this situation, you don't ask them for anything in return, you just do it. And you know, having a father that was both military and a professional fighter, you kind of get that instilled in you.
Speaker 2:But I think when you say the veterans, I think that's instilled like right in that basic training setting. You know, when we're young kids and you have this battle-hardened drill sergeant telling you that it doesn't matter where you're from or how you feel about the people to your left and right, all that matters is that they did the same thing you did put their hand up, swore to join, said the oath and put the uniform on. From that moment on you will die for the people next to you. And you know we have that put into us at such a young age, a very impressionable age, because most of us are 17, 18, 19, 20. And then you spend the next couple years with that in the back of your mind and, like for me, I knew I didn't care how or what somebody did or how they were acting. If you wore that uniform, similar to what just happened at Fort Stewart, I mean, you have five people that ran at a gunman and tackled them, regardless of the situation you know, because they saw that everyone else was in danger.
Speaker 1:So they did what's been embedded in them and you know what their at their core as a service member man, I tell you how many times I've stopped to help someone with something and everyone else around me is questioning why are you doing that? And I'm like, why aren't you doing what the hell is wrong with? It's not what's wrong with me, what's wrong with you, and that's just how it is. That's how it's been out here for me in the civilian world anyways, and I wanted to mention earlier and I forgot, I lost my train of thought. I, um, when you mentioned that, uh, you know, screwing up and messing up and failing.
Speaker 1:I think that's one of the greatest things about the military is you get put into positions of responsibility that challenge you and challenge and it helps polish you as a person, because I know a lot of 24 year olds, like in my case, for example, when I became a platoon leader at 24, there wasn't a whole lot of other 24 year olds that became platoon leaders in our in a war zone at 24, like I came back at 25 and I could look around and I could.
Speaker 1:I could very confidently say that most of these people have not dealt with what I dealt with for the last year.
Speaker 1:Um, and I think that's what's great about the military is especially like in the army and the Marines, where you become a squad leader and you're in charge of a small group. Um, you know, I think for a lot of us too, we don't think about it much, but when I was in basic training, training man, like they made me a squad leader and I was a squad leader the entire cycle and never got fired um, that's where I think it started for me to care about my fellow soldier, because I always carried around two of everything two canteens, two smart books, two ponchos to everything and so like. Whenever I had a squad member that was missing something, I'm like here, just hold this for inspection, just just hold on to it, and you don't think much about it, man. But it kind of starts like at a very infinite stage. Um, you know, even in basic training and you were a huge part of that you were a drill sergeant for how many years?
Speaker 2:uh two, just two, because of the reclassing and how they're reorganizing the military at least on the Army side. I came up on my final re-enlistment and I was basically told hey, you can stay in your job for the next eight, seven years, whatever's left. However, because the army's downsizing at any time, you could be reassigned to a different MOS. So, um, in order to have done a third year as a drill, I would have had to have extended, and in order to extend, I would have had to do one more um re-enlistment.
Speaker 1:So there was a huge barrier there, right, and it's all about timing and what's going on in the world and and everything else. I mean, yeah, that's huge. So, um, I want to talk about something a lot of people kind of a hot topic today, man, like with this new generation coming up. A lot of people, um, you know, say the younger generation is lazy, this or that there's. I mean, I have my own thoughts too, but from your experience, I mean, you've been a drill instructor, a mentor, an NCO, a leader, you've been to several combat deployments. How do you think and not only that, but you kind of cross a generational gap, because you came in the 2000s, early 2000s, and then now you're 2025. How has this younger generation of soldiers, or just military in general, surprised you, both positively and negatively?
Speaker 2:So I would say on the positive side, you know we get all wrapped up in everything that's going on and all the opinions of media and just the general societal norms that they push. So I have been surprised a lot, especially as a drill, when I come across somebody that resembles that old fire, like in a young enlistee, in a young recruit that you saw back in like 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, during, during, like the height of the war, we'd have these kids come in and like they were a hundred percent all about it and it really caught me off guard. But at the same time that you know that's where that fire gets lit in you You're like, oh, I got one. All right, I'm going to give this kid everything I've got because I know that he deserves that and he wants that. And I was actually surprised because there was a large number of this new generation that everyone thinks is such and such, that actually was like that. It's still there. There are still these kids that are joining and, you know, want to serve that, have that fire even in a time of quote, unquote, peace, you know.
Speaker 2:But on the flip side, like the extreme disappointment was just all of these free riding. I don't want to listen to authority. I have no respect for anything. I can't tell you how many kids joined and didn't even make it out of basic because they would just throw their stuff, throw everything away for either pride or an attitude issue or just something dumb Like.
Speaker 2:Imagine being told hey, here's $50,000 for a combat job which you know. It's like you and me back in the day when we joined, you weren't getting $50,000 for that. But now, because it's a peacetime and we're away from it, some of these kids are coming in with $50,000, $30,000 bonuses. Imagine being told at 18 years old, all you got to do is go through six months of OSIT and then you get $50,000 and then just not doing it and, like I, had kids that would throw it all away just to take like a hit of a vape or sneak a vape in and it's just the smallest things, and I think that was one of the most shocking and disappointing things, cause like my generation and the way I grew up, I couldn't fathom somebody making a commitment and then just not sticking to the commitment.
Speaker 2:I was always raised that if you give your word for something, you know that's it, and my father used to always say you know a man is only as good as his word. If if a man doesn't have his word, he has nothing.
Speaker 1:You kind of glossed over it earlier, man, but I want to go back again.
Speaker 2:Your father who is he? Oh, so my father is Alexander Arthur Stewart. He fought in Desert Storm, he was a tanker and he was also on the Army boxing team. Okay, he was a tanker and he was also on the army boxing team. Okay, and he was trained by Floyd Patterson, who is a very, very, very famous old boxer. He fought Muhammad Ali. He trained with the best.
Speaker 2:So I grew up, kind of when I was young, in in that shadow. I got pictures of me sitting on Joe Frazier's lap at a barbecue and you know, hanging out, hanging out with Floyd Patterson, his son, tracy. My dad's got pictures of Roy Jones senior, roy Jones junior, all of these big names Al Cole, charles Murray. So I grew up in this environment of one military standard. I still remember when I was like four or five, watching my dad shine and then bake his boots, you know, and watch him iron his stuff, and it was. It was just like you saw this stuff and you're like you know, as a young kid, you're like this this is what a man is kind of, you know, yeah, yeah. And then to to every weekend on top of that, to go to, I would follow my dad to the gym all the time. So every Sunday he would go and teach boxing and I would go too and he'd be training these, these like full grown men that are paying him to train, and I'd be in the background just shadowing what they're doing. And eventually I got to a point where my dad shifted and started training me and it was. I think it was a good experience, you know to, to grow up and watch all that like, to see somebody dedicate all that time to shining their boots, all this other stuff staying in shape, and then to also have that discipline from a military background mixed with the discipline of a fighting background. As a young kid. It really helped solidify one, that guardian mentality that we were touching on earlier, certain mindset, and I think that's one of the things that that's helped me throughout. All my stuff is growing up and in having that mindset, yes, I'm going to get into some dark places and I've struggled, but I have also had that core upbringing that's just deep rooted in the memory. So usually when I'm starting to struggle or stuff, that's kind of where I dig and I try to pull that back out. You know that, just that mentality of, hey, you're a fighter and not even military, just growing up as a kid, I was always a fighter If somebody was pushing on someone that wasn't you know big enough to do something back.
Speaker 2:I built a name at a very young age because I had a buddy and he passed away, but we weren't friends at first. He was a white guy and I was maybe like 10, 11 years old, and so was he, and we were young kids and I don't remember what we were talking about something. And then he just decided to drop the N word but like as like, oh, what's up? My, and I looked at him. I was like don't ever say that, don't ever say that to me. He's like oh, what's your problem? You know, I'm just saying it with it. And he said it again. I was like got, you, got one more, one more and and we're gonna have a problem. And then he said it again and you know, of course, he had this crowd of of dudes around him. He's one of those dude, one of those guys.
Speaker 2:And, uh, my father always taught me, you know, never start something but you will finish it, or or you will deal with me when, when you get home. And I was like OK, so he, he said something, I shoved him. And then you know this little 11 year old dude who actually secretly has been training boxing since he was like four and a half five, like seriously for every weekend, did some really bad damage to another kid and from from that point that was my first time ever actually defending myself. From that point it was kind of like a realization of one how dangerous somebody who can do all those things to somebody is, especially at that age where other kids, especially back then, things to somebody is, especially at that age where other kids, especially back then this is. You know, you got to remember this is before ufc mma, before jiu-jitsu even really got big before social media because you want to, went viral yeah, so yeah, oh yeah, but definitely before social media.
Speaker 2:I mean we're talking like 2000 and yeah but it was, it was a.
Speaker 2:I'm blessed at that. Now, yes, my childhood was rough. My parents ended up divorcing and stuff. But that time period where I was able to see my father do all of these things and then, you know, get that one-on-one time with him and all that dedication and support into developing me, I didn't realize you know what it was when I was little, but it helped kind of create the mentality that I have now and the strength that I have now, which is funny because even with all that, with my dad being an NCO in the military and doing all these things like where you say you know you were the guy that was helping everyone at basic you'd probably be surprised but I actually never wanted to lead.
Speaker 2:When I was in basic um, I was given a spot as as a platoon guide and like I was getting on the bus five minutes after they gave it to me and my drill sergeant looked at me. He goes you don't want it, do you? And I went no, so then he gave it back to the dude he just fired. But at the same time I wasn't popular because I took the oath very serious. If dudes were goofing off, I would get on them about it If they weren't taking stuff seriously. Like they all said, I was way too uptight. But at the same time, even if they didn't like my personality because I was just way too, they said I was way too. Hooah, you know, not a bad thing, I was that guy. I was that guy Every time. If I saw one of the dudes that was struggling with his rucksack I would take it. And my favorite memory is walking through the woods in Georgia with a dude's rucksack on my stomach and mine on my back, and I was also the RTO, so the RTO bag hooked onto my ruck and I had this drill sergeant who looked at me and he's like what the hell are you doing? And I said my battle buddy was struggling drill sergeant, so I'm going to carry the load for him. And it was that kind of thing. Battle Buddy was struggling, joel Sarnes, so I'm going to carry the load for him. And it was that kind of thing.
Speaker 2:So it was funny because you know, kind of like dodgeball growing up, we were getting ready to go to the field and the squad leaders would be like, oh, who do we want? And I was right there and they'd be like well, you know, stewart is kind of uptight and stuff, but like hell he'll carry some gear. I'm uptight and stuff, but like hell he'll carry some gear. And like he's got your back. I don't like him, but like and that's it. That's how it would go and they'd put me underneath them just simply because of like, oh, if I need someone to carry the radio, he'll carry the radio, if somebody can't carry their gear or something, he'll carry them, kind of thing.
Speaker 2:And I think that's that, um, guardian mentality. But it wasn't until, like you you said, where they kind of push you into leadership roles and force you, when I became a corporal at like two years into service and after only two years, you know, now I'm shoved into these roles. And that's kind of where I realized, okay, well, when I don't have a choice and I'm putting that spot, I guess I guess there's a lot more there that, like I said, I gained from my childhood with my father and just growing up being the oldest of the brothers and watching out for them, that I didn't realize I had until the army pushed me into that spot and said, hey, you don't have a choice right, we have a lot of similarities, bro, like I mean, I'll be honest with you.
Speaker 1:Like I, I grew up a military brat. My dad was drafted at the end of the vietnam war but by the time he finished ranger school they were sending everyone home, um, and he retired e8. Uh, very tough man with drill sergeant, volunteered for five years, um, and, like you said, like I grew up, on one hand I grew up watching him be this professional like, always looking very stacked, always like uniform pressed. You know his, his peers highly respected him, but he wasn't a big guy, he was like a five foot eight dude that was like skinny but tough as as nails. Grew up watching that. But then I had this other side to my life, where there was a lot of domestic violence too. And it's funny because a few years ago I knew someone that was doing a military brat storytelling thing and it was a positive thing. And they asked me to do it and I just kind of like I can't really. And they asked me to do it and I just kind of like I can't really.
Speaker 1:My time in the military as a military brat was not good, moving around a lot, and then the domestic stuff was not good, but what was good was I grew up with a very strong dad, a very strong man, so I saw what a strong man does as far as be professional, look professional, talk professional, have the command presence, and I think a lot of dads today, strong fathers, are very undervalued, like that whole notion is not everyone talks moms, moms, moms, moms, moms. I think that's one of the problems in our society, man. I think that's why you have a lot of boys, a lot of boys that never grow up to be men and they don't know how to overcome obstacles and adversity, because they're constantly falling back on the safety net of their moms and the strong fathers are not being as valued as they should. Because that's what you really need is like that guy that's going to show you how to be resilient, strong, and I think daughters too, like daughters, learn from dads to some extent. And there's so funny how, like a lot of the things that you mentioned just now, I could actually resonate with man.
Speaker 1:And going back to what you said about the money, like the $50,000 stuff, bro, like back during my time, people were making a hundred thousand dollars to join Blackwater. Back during my time, people were making $100,000 to join Blackwater, to be like a freaking what's that called A, not a militia, a mercenary right Just to go over there and like $100,000. In the 2000s $100,000 was $100,000. So now it's like I don't know. It just cracks me up, man, like the money that they just throw around today versus what it was back 20 years ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know how the military was. They didn't really have to get us. Everyone was angry, right, you know everybody, everybody wanted to get a piece of the action. It's now that and I think this is crazy I was just talking to um, a marine the other day and a sergeant from the army, and he said something that I didn't it didn't click in my head, yet he goes, but he said it's crazy to me that 9-11 has been reduced to a meme these days because so many kids don't know and weren't even alive yet and like now, all you ever hear about it besides, you know, on the anniversary is just memes and all these other things. And when he said that, you know, that was the first time I actually sat back and thought about that and I was like wow. And then you know, you think about how people, people are joining and you know I'm not, I'm not dogging on anybody for why they want to join. You want to join for citizenship, cool. If you want to join for, you know, uh, a college degree, good, all of that Cause.
Speaker 2:Honestly, I tell everybody, if you're not getting yourself ready for life after the military, you're setting yourself up for failure your entire time in the military, there should always be in the background stuff going on to get you ready, because if you get out and then there is nothing waiting for you, that's the most dangerous thing ever, because you went from having something every single day and having a plan and having a schedule to nothing. As a service member, you will lose your mind, and I totally agree with you when you say, like you know that transition out is rough, and that's why I always tell people like, hey, what are you doing right now to prepare yourself for when you get out? It's like, oh well, I'm not doing anything yet. I'm like no, no, no, you use your TA because it doesn't touch your GI bill. I want you to invest some money in some stuff. I want you to do this. I want you to and I would like take time out of their schedule in the day and either sit down with them myself or I'd be like look, we don't have much going on right now at Troop. I want you to go over to the community center and I want you to book an appointment with the financial manager and I want you to talk to them about one your TSP, your 401k. Then I also want you to talk to them about how to properly invest money for your future.
Speaker 2:Because you're 19 years old, I'm like go, go, go do what no one ever did for me. I didn't start doing any of that stuff till I was 27. And it wasn't because someone told me to, it's because I was 27 and I looked at the mirror and went I haven't done anything while I've been in Because I spent. You know, from 20 to 25 is deployments, deployments, deployments. So when I was 26, I was just tired. And then in 27 is where I kind of sat there I looked at my TSP and I was like dude, I've only been putting in like 2% for the last seven years of my career. What am I doing? And then just look, it was sitting in the G fund and all this stuff. So it's, it's a whole nother ball game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, man, um, a lot of a lot of what you're saying is is exactly true. No-transcript, the week to week, the month to month stuff. So what's my role as a platoon leader? Stand down there and get in the way of shit that I don't know nothing about, right? No, like, my job as a at the time I was a first lieutenant was to remove obstacles, was to support, was to also encourage the young soldiers to go to the education center. And I would have these strong conversations with them where I'm like you know why did you join the military? Oh, I want to take care of some college. You know that's fine, you know, go to the education center, and then I would follow up with. You know that's fine, you know, go to the education center, and then I would follow up with them week to week. Did you go to the education center? Like, I also walked the walk because after deployment I started my master's degree, um, and I think that was really important, as my role as a platoon leader was to look at the big picture and I would explain to people like, look, you think you're you're going to stay in 20 years, but you could destroy your hip next month and then you're going to get med boarded out, then what? The best place to be in life is a place where you have that lateral mobility to go into other jobs or other careers without taking too much of a hit on your location, your salary and your desired job. And I think that is directly tied to the suicide that happens to a lot of our veterans out there because they get out assuming that what they did in the military is going to translate, and a lot of times it does not translate. You're going to sit across from a recruiter that doesn't know anything about what a drill sergeant does, except for what they watched on tv. They're not going to understand what an nco is versus an e2. They're not going to know. So you're going to have to get on the floor and play blocks, which is frustrating.
Speaker 1:Um, so, working on that transition early on, from the minute that you get in the military and you start getting those, those certifications, the degrees, or I mean hell, I would say even trade school like start working on something that's going to get you to where you have that letter mobility, so, if life happens, so you meet, you meet your wife or whatever, and then now she, you have kids. Now you're like this military life isn't going to work. I need to get out. You have that, that, that safety where like, okay, I can get out, I can transition, I can find a job in the city that I want to live in, get close to salary like that I'm making now and have the job that I can actually pallet going to every single day. And that's why I've been volunteering for act no education for the last four years. Um, I got up early this morning just to get on a meeting with the board to talk about things that we're going to be doing over the next year, and that's my drive is to try to bring down that suicide rate, try to make a softer landing than I had when I got out.
Speaker 1:You and I have an immense sense of community and and give a shit about the man next to us. Um, and I really appreciate that about you, man, I really do like you. You don't have to be doing what you're doing, like you could totally be just playing video games right now, goofing off like 90 of the crowd out there. Um, but I, but I, I really respect that about you. I, I don't want to gloss over it, cause I have a immense um. I have an immense respect for people that do mentoring and I think there's no higher mentor in the military than a drill sergeant. You're the first introduction to the military for a lot of these kids that come in. You're the first introduction to the military for a lot of these kids that come in. What leadership lessons from your time as a drill sergeant? Experience permanently changed, like how you mentor others.
Speaker 2:I think the big one and the key take away that everyone that's ever a drill needs to realize is at no point in your entire career will you ever have the influence and power that comes with that hat. You get these kids at such a vulnerable and impressionable time in their lives and every single decision, every move, every step that you take is going to change how they perceive things, how they behave, what they try to emulate for the rest of their life. Because most of the time for these young kids, that drill sergeant the one, the one, the one that sticks in their head, because there's usually like one yes, you'll remember a couple of them, but there's always that one we lean towards that one is going to basically be the driving force that influences the majority of these kids decisions for the next couple of years. And I think the biggest takeaway as a leader was that it's you know you have a responsibility to be everything that you never got as a leader and then stay away from everything you wish you never had to deal with. You know this is your chance to create that.
Speaker 2:You know quote unquote perfect leader. That doesn't exist. And even if you're, you know you're not, that you can create a persona which, you know, emulates that, and it's a unique place and a unique opportunity. Because even if you do, like I said, create that persona, who's going to question it? Right, you know, and you do it out of a necessity, not because you know you have an ego thing or because you have, you know, some kind of complex. I used to tell the drills because, as you know, we do get non-combat drills that would get embedded with us, right, that's interesting.
Speaker 2:I would tell them, I don't want you to tell these yeah, they do that, especially because they want to integrate at least one female, two, and we had three. They want to integrate at least one female, um two, and we had three. So I would tell them you will not tell these kids that you're not recon. Like do not tell them that, do not tell them you're a non-combat. Just go with the flow, copy what all the scouts are doing, and then I would take these drills into like the office, or like I'd wait for all the kids to go to like chow, and then I would take these drills into like the office, or like I'd wait for all the kids to go to like chow, and then I would go into the bay with them. Be like what do you need me to show you? Like, pick one task so that way, when the next set of instruction comes up, you can be like oh hey, come here, trainees, let me, let me show you something, and you know you. You can have the opportunity to remove any doubt in their heads that you didn't know what you were talking about. It might just be one one thing. So like I had one that was really big on, like the mark 19. So, okay, we brought the mark 19 in the back and I ran them through the mark 19 over and over again. We brought the 240 for a different one, did that over and over again.
Speaker 2:Or I would email like 10 hours of recon uh powerpoints that I've developed over the years. I'd be like just go through these in your spare time, so that way you know some of the jargon, you, you know some of the words and I think that, like, like I said, that persona is just crucial and it's just such an impressionable time and I think that's where most leaders and that's why I have a lot of respect for the ones who wear the drill sergeant badge you know that they finally, if they didn't get it before, they get it now. It's more of an opportunity to grow as a leader, because anybody who's got that patch and didn't abuse it, you know that they understand truly what it means to actually be a leader and be a role model to young soldiers and young people.
Speaker 1:That's huge man. Like what you just said, too, about the drill sergeant patch, because I feel the same way about the uniform, I feel the same way about rank. I feel the same like, whether it's law enforcement or it's military, like that's not your identity, like who you are is who you are. You're. You're just doing that. So like I never thought that when I was wearing a captain rank or any of that stuff, I never looked at myself as a captain necessarily. I was just there, part of a team, and you know as well as I do that bullets don't discriminate.
Speaker 1:And when you're really in the fire and you're really getting fucking shot at, like you need everyone on that team, from the e4 all the way up to the E7, e8 and all the O's. And to me, having gone to war at an early age, like I think that humbled me the most and I always tell people that and I always have a big problem and it irritates me whenever I see, like law enforcement or I see military people that they wear their uniform or they wear their badge or they wear their rank and that becomes their identity. That's not who you are, that's what you do, like you don't change who you are. You are who you are like starting first class steward, growing up with a strong father with the values and the perspective that you did growing up. You bring that into that position and you instill that and you pass it on to others.
Speaker 1:That's absolutely huge that you mentioned that and everybody always hones in on the on the young soldiers right going to bct. Um, what about the older guys, man? I mean they? You have to laugh because when you hear about people being like 25 and up, I would say they have the worst time in basic training because they're with all these kids, right? So what advice do you have for the folks that are joining late?
Speaker 2:So, first off, every guy I got and I did I had a 42 year old recruit and a 40 year old recruit. I'm like a 36 year old recruit throughout the time. First off, your nickname will be pops. There is no arguing you, arguing you are pops. Don't, don't try to fight it. Every drill sergeant will just call you pops instead of your roster number or whatever. I was big on that. I, I used to give all my kids uh nicknames and I would never use their roster number because I, I get the concept, but I hate giving someone a number and be like. That's all. You are now right. So no like and like I said last time and maybe, maybe that would have been the one thing that we could have dove into was the um, the mentality of being different as a drill. You know, I was my very first day.
Speaker 2:I got yelled at by my first sergeant because I walked in and they were at like black or gold phase so they're already all the way at the end and this brand new drill sergeant. First off, I yelled at them, but then, because they were goofing off, then I was like you know what, since you got nothing to do and you got a skills test coming up. Let me show you something. And I took my top off and rested my hat on the drill sergeant desk in in the bay and I showed them how to do about two or three things with a 240 that they've never seen before.
Speaker 2:But first, first sergeant walked in and screamed you know who the hell is in the kill zone with no top on because I'm a bald, bald and he's goes off and I turn around. I'm like what's up for a second? And he's like, oh, and then, like I put my stuff back on. It's like I talked to you for a minute and then he brought me out there. He's like hey, yeah, don't do that. He's like you got to get rid of the um. It's a platoon sergeant mentality and you know, realize, you're a drill, right, you can't treat these kids like you're platoon.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's. I hated that. No, no, no, because you want to show people what a good leader is, be a drill, be terrifying. And we talked about this last time. You know they were terrified and I'm sure you looked at all the comments when we talked about this on that clip and those were all. Those were all my kids and, like you saw it, they're like yeah, we didn't know if we were going to die or if he was going to teach us something, but but we knew, we knew it was going to be exciting. No, and and you saw it like there isn't a single person that commented on there and said like, oh, I hated him, it was, it was. Most of the comments were. It was rough, like that.
Speaker 2:This is the best leader I've ever had and some of those kids have been for two, three years now. But with the older folks, when you join, you have to keep in mind what you you know. Yes, it's different, it's going to be different and you've got to keep in mind that end state goal. Most of the older guys that I had ended up being these huge role models for these young kids, right, and that's why I always gave them the nickname Pops and they didn't realize it. But then all of the trainees would call them Pops and what I just did was gave them this old, mature, you know, grown figure amongst children that they could lean on.
Speaker 2:And usually with those guys I would make them the duty squad leader. You know, the squad that like sets up the tent, that feeds the child, that does all the stuff. One because he's older, so I know he's mature and he can organize tasks and stuff. And those duty squad leaders always were the best and I just would always do that. I'd be like how old are you? They'd be like I'm 36. Cool, and I just would always do that. I'd be like how old are you? They'd be like I'm 36. Cool, you're the duty squad leader first day.
Speaker 2:I would have to say that those older recruits also need to realize, just like I was just saying and just like how leaders know and how you understand, that besides the drills and like the NCOs, that oldest trainee is the role model for the group. Everyone's going to look to you and I used to bring them to the side and like talk to them and let them know that I'm like you didn't ask for it, but everybody's going to be looking at you. So I don't. I'm like I don't care if you're tired, I don't care if your your body's aching because you're older.
Speaker 2:You will not quit, you will not show pain and you will not show them any sign of backing down because you need to establish that the image that they gave you without you asking for it is accurate, and I, you know I used to say that to leaders too, especially the new ones I get hey, you're coming in as a sergeant. Do not ever give any of my soldiers the opportunity or chance to think that you don't deserve their respect, that you don't deserve to wear that rank and you kind of you know, like you say, gloss uh, gloss over. A little bit earlier is, and you, you said something that we hear all the time in the military but we don't say a lot. There's a difference between an e-5 and a sergeant, right, and I hate that there is, but I do love the concept because it's very true. Did you do what you had to do to get the rank and the money, or are you a leader? Do you deserve to wear it? Do people want to follow you? And that's that mentality you need to have, and that's that the mentality that that older soldier needs to have too, even though they're not in that leadership position, if they can do that.
Speaker 2:Because think about it too when you were a PL, if you got a private first class or a specialist or you know what, have you, whatever rank had? This showed up and you look at them you're how old are you? What was your expectation? You always expected them to be better than that 18, 19, 20 year old person, because they're grown, they're mature and it's the same. It's the same concept. It's going to be a pain to to be with these kids and it's going to annoy you and you're going to have to put your boot to their throat, sometimes as that older trainee, but at the same time, it is a major chance for you to grow as a person, as an older individual or as a leader, without having to be in that position. It's a really good self-reflection and, you know, a projection into the future 100%, man, and what you're talking about, too, is manager versus leader.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And you'll see that in the civilian side, you'll see someone who's in charge of you, but are they a manager or are they a leader? And that's something you have to contend with and you have to understand, even when you get out of the military, to contend with and you have to understand even when you get out of the military. This is something that I think that parents, teachers out there, um, leaders in the military, deal with too, and I want to understand, like your perspective on this and what you've, what you've learned and and uh, just through your experiences, uh, how do you, how did you typically approach, uh, moments when you'd have a soldier that would push back against your guidance or your leadership?
Speaker 2:well I think I'd give the initial reaction, whereas it's that stare into their eyes like are you sure you want to go down this road as a first. And then it depends on you know how I was met with adversity by that person. Were they hostile? At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what kind of leader I am. I'm a grown man. If you want to be hostile for no reason, you're going to catch a little hostility back, and usually I would. I used to call it spiciness. You're going to get some spice. I'm not going to be immature or anything. I'm not going to do anything, but I will raise my voice, not not yelling, but I will raise my voice and deepen my tone. So you know, like hey, I'm not the one kind of thing.
Speaker 2:Yep, and usually that usually that would work. Um, when, when that didn't work, I would still keep that tone the whole time and I, I would take up more of an aggressive posture If, like, if the person was crossing their arms, uh, I used to always say, uncross your arms, you ain't in charge of shit and and and and all this stuff while we're, while we're going, and but then I would be like, all right, so what is your problem? And I would try, as long as it was reasonable, you know, to hear out what they had to say and usually what I would try to do then, especially as like a drill or as a leader in the military or just in any managerial position at that point where someone's like I don't want to do this, this is stupid, right. Any managerial position at that point where someone's like I don't want to do this, this is stupid, right. Then do the definition of leadership, provide task and purpose right, and tell them what the result is supposed to be. That's all you got to do. It's not hard. The worst leaders I've ever seen. Just get into shouting matches and don't explain it Nine times out of 10, if you have somebody that's giving you any kind of pushback. If you do the literal definition of leadership, which is providing purpose and motivation to complete a task, then they'll do it. A lot of people just want to know why I'm doing this and they won't ask why They'll, just because they think, oh, I can't ask why I'll get in trouble. But so instead they're just going to be rude or they're going to be immature about it.
Speaker 2:But what I used to always do because, you know, I learned that as a young leader, probably as a surgeon, that that would happen. So, as a staff surgeon and a sergeant first class and a drill sergeant what I did is, before a task even started, I would explain the purpose behind the task. Like I was, I was doing crazy drill during the first 72, where everyone's screaming. I would have no voice left and I'd sit there and I explained we're going to do shower drills. Right, you're going to get 30 seconds or 45, whatever it was. You know, if they, if they behaved they, they got more towards the minute. If they didn't behave, it went all the way back down. But this is the very first time they do it and I explained to them.
Speaker 2:You need to learn how to not waste time get in the shower, get out the shower and get back to it, because I can't tell you how many times when I was deployed, because there's a magical fairy on deployment that hates your soul and that alarm will only go off when you're in the shower, when you're eating food or you just lay down and go to sleep. It does not go off any other time, especially if you're on QRF. So I told them that and instead of you know people complaining about the showers, they took it serious, like a training, and then did the same thing with the d-fac, like oh, it's, it's bs, we only get this much, this much. Time d trainee, you need to learn how to eat fast because you don't have time in combat, nobody cares, no one cares. So eat and get right back it. And it was funny because you could see the difference in the platoon dynamics. I didn't have this. I didn't give so much advice to the other platoons that I wasn't in, because you know it's the military, it's a competition. The drill sergeant to look at the other drill sergeants and be like, hey, you see that what's going on with your guys. You know you got to poke a little bit and make fun, but it was great. But the funny thing is when someone's like, oh why do you do that? I would just always turn and go.
Speaker 2:In the regulation that covers leadership. It literally says the process of providing purpose, direction and motivation to complete the unit's tasks. So if I'm going to lead and I'm going to make someone do something, maybe I should provide the three things that are written into a book by someone smarter than me to get them to do what I want them to do. Yelling's not going to get it done right. Being disrespectful and cursing and doing all this stuff or trying to flex A real leader never has to flex strength. A real leader never has to remind someone they're in charge you don't. They will do it because they respect you, because they know it's in that presence.
Speaker 2:Like I said, when I was young I used to yell as a sergeant and then, as I got I would probably say when I got into the platoon sergeant role, I realized that yelling isn't going to get it done and I would make sure I started teaching my sergeants that I'd be like show them the right answer, show them the way, don't scream at them, don't do any of that crap, because yelling doesn't show that you're smarter than anyone. It actually shows a lack of intelligence, right? If you have to resort to yelling to get your point across, just the loudest person in the room is usually the dumbest, or at least the least capable, right? You know? So I would, I would push that and you know, I would tell people hey, you want to lead, you want to do all these things? It's not hard.
Speaker 2:Literally, someone told you exactly what you need to do and when you think about it, right, like for you or for me, when you were doing tasks back, when you were, you know, young and dumb in the service. Wouldn't it have been a lot better if someone had said this is why we're doing it, this is the direction we're taking this, and this is why we're doing it, this is the direction we're taking this and this is why you need to do it. Right, and this is going to be the end result For every task. You know, instead of going, hey, go to the motor pool and fix your weapons and sweep the line and do all this stuff, if someone had just said we need our vehicles to train so we can certify, to go on deployment, so we can do our jobs, we need to make sure that you guys understand, to maintain your equipment properly. So that way, when we're not looking, you'll do it anyway, because on deployment, sand is your worst enemy and you will clean your rifle every day to make it work. But unless we instill that in you now, you know, with checking your uniform, your bunk being perfect, um, you know, making sure everything is, you know, tip top shape, you're not going to do that on your own and then your weapon is going to jam overseas, all of those little things you know.
Speaker 2:If someone had just done that instead, it, uh, it would really make a difference. And think about it. You probably too. I've had it where I've actually reached out to the leaders I had when I was young and I apologized to some of them Because I was young and dumb. I gave some pushback and I told them as I got into a leadership position and they're retired, and I was like, hey, I just want to say I'm sorry and I also want to thank you. I didn't realize what you were doing for me when you were doing it, but as a leader now I understand everything.
Speaker 1:I've done that with teachers. I've reached back and said, hey, listen, I apologize, I was immature, I'm much better now. Thank you for putting up with my shit. Man. You, some professor, you were like a professor of leadership. I mean true and true and true, man. I'm not just saying that to kiss your ass or because you're standing in front of me Like I really believe that you are a professor of leadership.
Speaker 1:And I guess one of the things too is like, when you're with someone for a long time, you're with these kids for like nine plus weeks, you figure out what motivates them, what drives them and what, what wags the tail on the dog, as, as they say. And you have that time to assess, like, how do I handle this soldier? How do I get them to understand that what we're doing is important? And here's why. And um, that's really important because I joined initially. I joined, I like I said, I joined national guard. I wanted to pay for college. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't understand. Back then, um 17, 18 years old, I didn't understand the importance of serving. I didn't understand, um, even though I grew up a military brat, I didn't even know what I was getting into. Man, I'd be honest, you, like my dad, was a dress harm for five years. I wasn't expecting that. Like I went to Fort Leonard Wood and I don't know what I thought. I thought it was going to be like summer camp, like next thing I know you've got these brown rounds walking in. They're fucking yelling at me. Get on the cattle truck. I've got a bag in front back and I just thinking to myself what the hell is this? What am I getting into? That's when it started for me Like I could have gotten out of the military with my undergraduate degree and moved on with my life.
Speaker 1:But I wanted to take it to the next level because I had so many people in my life that that went to bat for me, that that helped me, that believed in me, and I wanted all those people throughout my childhood and my teen years and in my young adult life. I wanted them to understand that you going to bat for me was not in vain. Like I'm going to make this worth your time. It's kind of like that part and like that beginning of saving private ryan, where you know he's standing by the grave and he says you know, I hope I lived. I lived a life worth living. Yeah, you were a huge like gear in that giant machine of life. That for a lot of these kids, that and I think that for a lot of these kids that you helped it may have been the first time they've ever been disciplined in their entire lives. They've never had any authority figure. They may not have grown up with a father and so you kind of filled that role and helped change that direction.
Speaker 1:And what you also mentioned too when things happen when you least expect it to happen, that is 1, 1000% true. It was never when like we were. We were, like you know, given the convoy brief and the Intel is, it's freaking, you know, normandy beach out there and it's never that. It was always when you had your head up your ass and you're looking at how pretty the sky is when all of a sudden, boom, boom, boom, boom, and then it's like holy shit, like then you gotta. You go back to your training, you go back to your battle drills, you go back to you know what you've done before.
Speaker 1:Then, when things happen and having your shit tight, that's when it's most important, man, and I I tell my family too I'm like you know my my experience in the military and just in general, is when you leave the wire, you need to make sure you have everything with you because you don't have a chance to go back and get it, yep, and that a lot of civilians don't understand that, like why, why are you tripping? Why are you tripping for like what? And I was like, well, because my time and my experience as a young adult was that when we left the wire, we had to have enough bullets, enough water. We had to make sure we had all of our armor with us, everything, um. So, yeah, man, a lot of the things that you mentioned about um and even evolving as a leader you know talking about how you're very authoritative, yelling when you were first started and then you kind of evolved from there.
Speaker 1:That's important for people to understand too is, over the years, I've heard so many people say, oh, the guy sucks, he's terrible, he's, he's the worst manager, worst leader ever. But then you see them go somewhere new, take over a new position, and they're not the same person they were before, absolutely, and that's okay. Like they've evolved, they learned. Now they're somewhere else and they're trying to get better each and every single time, and that's okay. Like they've evolved, they learned. Now they're somewhere else and they're trying to get better each and every single time, and that's important for leaders to understand overall, that that's how it's supposed to work, man.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why the military lets you reenlist and go to a new duty station and that's why your counseling packet, by regulation and by the rules on the bottom of it, say it's supposed to be destroyed when you leave, like all your counseling. So that way when you go somewhere you get a clean slate, you can reinvent yourself and I'll be honest, that's what I did. You know I had a lot of pushback from my privates as a sergeant and as, like, a young staff sergeant. But then the guys who had me once I became a senior staff sergeant. But then the guys who had me once I became a senior staff sergeant, you know I took a platoon and a sergeant for his class.
Speaker 2:I've never had besides, like the kids that were just terrible, like just not not bad, so terrible people. Besides those guys, I never had somebody who complained ever again about my leadership style. The only people that would complain would be my peers, which was annoying as hell and, like you know, don't want to go off on a tangent but like perfect example, I did Motor Pool Monday. I showed up as a new platoon sergeant, just slept out with the old guy and I found out that only one of my six vehicles in my platoon worked and we're at a light unit, so you know they don't care about the vehicles. Oh, we usually just go on foot anyway.
Speaker 2:Cool but, what if we need them, right? So what I did was I made them go to the motor pool every day, every day, for at least three hours, and they had to go from cover to back to back on the tm and write down everything that was wrong. Uh, my xo, I, at first, my first time was pissed. My first I was like why the hell are five of your vehicles deadline now? And I told him I'm like, because five of them have class two or class three leaks. And no one was down. I'm not taking my vehicles out if they're leaking transmission and oil everywhere. No, so I'm going to write down if they're not good so I can get these fixed.
Speaker 2:My XO, though, he loved it and this is what I'm saying with the peers they wouldn't even come up and say it to me. But two of the other platoon sergeants walked up to my PL and said hey, can you tell your new platoon sergeant to back off a little bit, because now the XO is telling us he wants us to do front to cover on the books. And you know he's, he's, you're, you're, your dude's making us do extra stuff. And then there was other stuff I would do too. Like there was no white space on my training calendar, like a week ahead of schedule. I would tell a sergeant, you're teaching a class on this, you have two days to put it together and pitch it to me and then next week you're doing it. And because I was always doing that, or I had a rule that I would never I had a board in my office that I put up the first day I took over and I was like here's the school's board. At no point will one of my soldiers not be in some kind of school. So like I was rotating dudes in and out of schools the entire time, I had like three or four dudes go through aerosol. I had dudes go to all these other things because that was a priority for me, taking care of them.
Speaker 2:But to have them go up to my PL and say like hey, can you tell him to dial back I love my PL for his answer he looked at him and said first off, if you have a problem with my new platoon sergeant, you can be a man and go tell him yourself. Second, if you're going to come in here and tell me to tell my platoon sergeant to take it easy because he's prioritizing his soldiers and he's putting in work and he's pushing his guys to give a hundred percent get out. And it was during lunch. So I came back from lunch and my PL was like close the door. And I closed the door. He's like you won't believe what just happened and it's funny because I'd only been there for like two and a half weeks. So I was like, oh well, no-transcript. He thought that I was doing the stuff I was doing out of maliciousness to try to like make him look bad as a leader. And he said I apologize now Because he's like I see you up here still in the three shop and he's like you haven't changed.
Speaker 2:You push your three shop soldiers, like my three shop guys. I was making them go to schools now and I was doing all this stuff and I was I was getting used to stand in for the op sergeant major. So you know, as a young staff sergeant or, I'm sorry, an old staff sergeant or a young sergeant first class I was stepping in to fill the op sergeant major shoes. I was helping captains do stuff, I was writing op orders and he's like you're the same person and he goes I'm sorry, and he's like that's on me and uh, but it was. It was a weird dynamic and it kind of just kind of goes to what you're saying with the leadership and then styles and then all this other stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's been times in my life my career, civilian, military where I've received my worst evaluation ever and it was because of either. I was too hard on my own boss and I learned that there are times that, even though you have a supervisor or a boss, you may have to manage them, you may have to sort of mentor up in a sense. Yeah, and it's a very, it's a very, it's a very like rocky road a lot of tripwire because you don't want to cross that line of disrespect.
Speaker 1:So I've, I've learned that man in my, in my life, that's, that's huge.
Speaker 2:It is a big thing in the military. There's a lot of people with egos that just won't put them away. Uh, sometimes it just takes some positive feedback or some some critiques, because we're not, we're not. None of us are a hundred percent. You're lying to yourself. If you are, we can always grow. We can always get better.
Speaker 1:Amen to that, and that's that's huge man. It's like that in the civilian world too, it's. It's a lot of the things that you talk about is very translatable to the civilian side and and understanding those leadership concepts and we've covered a lot about leadership, man and, uh, I want to ask to see if you want to come back on the show, cause I want to talk to you about mental health, family. There's so many other topics that I want to cover with you. Um, you know, if you're willing to, to jump back on I'm kind of timing out for the day, uh, with everything going on. But, um, yeah, you, just you. I mean in, in, in a. You really, how many years you've been in or out? 16? But no, brother, I'm at 12.
Speaker 2:You're at 12 years. That's it, yep, 12. And uh, I had my second look at Master Sergeant coming up. You've done a lot.
Speaker 1:12 years that's hard to believe. How do you pack all that into 12 years? That's crazy.
Speaker 2:Volunteer for everything. You can think of every school. I won the NCO of the month board. I won the Soldier of the month boards. Anytime you can compete, you compete.
Speaker 2:I tell everybody that it's like, hey, you got to remember. Even if you don't want to, you're constantly competing with everyone else in. You have to, you know, make yourself stand out. I just won an award at the schoolhouse I'm at right now for being like the best person in the, in the in the unit for the quarter, and it was simply because of like what I was doing outside of work, on top of working. So, but that's that's even now, like I was passively pushing myself to stand out in the new place I'm at, while I'm still doing all these other things, and and it's that's, that's kind of just how, how I was able to do it.
Speaker 2:And a lot of people always ask me that too. You know, like, how, how did you? How did get sergeant in like two and change? How did you make staff sergeant at five? How did you? You know, and and I just always told them just don't, don't be comfortable with mediocrity. It's that simple. You know, it's your career, it's your life.
Speaker 2:Why, why the hell would you just put yourself on a back burner and ride it out there. There are so many motivations, you know, if you don't want the rank, at least the money gets better, and just stuff like that. Like, if you're not going to give something 100% and this is what I tell people all the time as a motivational speaker if you're not going to give something, you're doing 100%, don't do it at all, don't waste your time. What's the point? If I'm not going to give it 100%, I don't need to waste my time with it. Apparently, it wasn't important enough for me to want to focus. So and that's the kind of how I looked at it with rank and service and all those other things, like everything I've done in my career I've wanted to do, and if I volunteered for something, I gave it a hundred percent Cause why would I waste my time?
Speaker 1:That's like are you in it for the right reasons? I know when I, when I resigned, when I resigned my commission, a lot of the other young captains were like oh my God, like what are you going to do? Like what, like what? Like what are you here? Just for a paycheck? Like, is that? Is that it? Because you don't know what you're gonna do? You're still here. Like that.
Speaker 1:To me it just felt. I never planned on staying in longer than my first, you know, stint as an officer. I just wanted to serve my country at a greater capacity than what I was doing. I wanted to make my father proud of me, which I felt like I fulfilled. All that. I went to war, which was more than a lot of people can say, and I just followed what I had been planning the entire time. I wanted to do my four years as an officer and get out, and that was it. But it really surprised me how much question I got with oh my God, like you're going to, like you're going to just go, just go unemployed. Like what are you gonna do? And I'm like well, why are you here? Like, are you just here because it's a paycheck? Because, if so, then you're here for the wrong, the wrong reasons all together. Um, before we round out this episode, I just want to go over um, what's next for you? Uh, advocacy? Um, are you gonna write more? I mean talk about motivational speaking like what's on the horizon.
Speaker 2:So right now I've been doing a lot of work with colleges. I actually just spoke at Stenberg College about two and a half weeks ago and my target audience is actually a very small and unique group. I've been working with students that are becoming trauma therapists, students that are becoming trauma therapists, and then I've also been doing volunteer free speaking events specifically just for not nonprofits but actual like for-profit organizations that treat service members with post-traumatic stress disorder. And what I've been doing is I've been going to these groups, I've been getting in front of them and I just pour everything out and say now I want you to ask me the questions that you can't ask your patient because I will answer. And that's kind of been a big focus for me right now, because my whole thing gets advocacy, all that, but like you can only do so much advocacy, so how do I fix the problem? So what I decided to do is try to target the people that can affect it, those civilians that are going into this field, and teach them before they even get to the job a better way and help them understand it. So that way, as we say in the military, you know the tool belt, our tool belt. Now in their tool belt. They have.
Speaker 2:Hey, this veteran or this service member told me that if I see this sign, this sign, this sign, this sign from physical you know, physical reactions to something, there's something I need to dig deeper into. I just hit a nerve If, if, while we're talking, a veteran you know, or the service member is talking and then all of a sudden just spaces out for a second, this, this one dude explained to me where their mind's going. So I just hit a nerve and they just had either a flashback or they're focused on something and they're not here right now. So he's like so I know I'm either on the right topic or I need to switch topics and find out what just happened, Like those kinds of things.
Speaker 2:So, I've been doing that and then a lot of it is I'm trying to get a lot of support for, like, the non-profits I'm in and then also the other non-profits out there that are just doing good things. And then, of course, you know, I want to get out there and do more motivational speaking. Um, because I personally think that I have a decent ability to, um, you know, project and convey the proper mindset to succeed, and I want people to succeed and it's not for any other reason besides the fact that, um, I'm a firm believer of if you have the ability to do something that will help people, then you need to go do it, otherwise you're selfish, you know. So I want to get out there, I want to share my knowledge. I don't want to be selfish Like what if I? If I don't share it, then I take it with me to my grave. Who benefits from that? You know, nobody.
Speaker 2:So get out there and help help as much as I can.
Speaker 1:And that's why I love doing this podcast is because I love capturing these. Everything that you sacrifice blood, sweat and tears is not ever in vain. Like you, are sharing this in hopes that someone out there would hear and maybe make a better life for themselves or make make better decisions. Um, overall, I think that's huge.
Speaker 1:And the fact that you're helping out, that there's so many people that are in therapy and counseling that should not be in therapy and counseling and they need to have that conversation with someone like you so they can put themselves in the boots.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And understand their own clients a little bit better.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And I tell these students and I tell these people, if the stuff I'm talking about right now because I went deep into stuff I talked about sitting in the dark with a bottle of whiskey with a Bowie knife in my hand and thinking about just shoving it through my chest and I was talking to them about all this and people were looking at me like I was crazy I go right now. I'm telling you, the ones that I see it in your face. If that bothers you, you don't need to be here, because this is what you're trying to get out of these people and if they see that reaction on your face while they're opening up, you just killed that for them. They will never open up again. They will never do this again, because the one time where they finally felt comfortable enough to tell somebody something, you made them feel like they were insane. So that's, that's you know, a big thing that I always harp on when I talk to these groups. That is so true.
Speaker 1:That is so true, man. I mean, mean, I I love talking to you because at the end of the day, you cover, you're weird, but not in a bad way. You're weird in a good way because you're able to process and digest and and kind of regurgitate this stuff out. Um, it's almost like speaking another language to certain and you're help helping build that bridge, because a lot of us guys we went through what two 20-year wars with Afghanistan and Iraq and then we had Syria and everything else going on. I think just being in the military alone can be a huge stress on the family, on the person, depending on where they came from. Man. So I very much appreciate your willingness to step forward and help be that, be that um lighthouse for.
Speaker 2:I appreciate people like you giving me the opportunity to man like none of this would work without good people like you out there.
Speaker 1:Thank you, and I listen. I appreciate you sporting that beautiful shirt. Uh, thank you for putting it up online too.
Speaker 1:I I'm planning on, I'm planning on actually selling those to help. Um, I I have not really monetized off any of this stuff. Um, everything that I've done, the subscriptions, the, the equipment that I've purchased my time, all that stuff I've never done anything. So I'm planning on launching, like to sell these shirts and I appreciate you, you know, wearing it and sporting it and helping spread the cause of the Morning Formation podcast man and just being willing to come on this show. Was there anything that I didn't cover that you want to mention before we round off this conversation?
Speaker 2:Not really, brother. I mean, I love having these conversations with you. It feels like and I think we said this last time but it feels like we've known each other for forever. It's not one of these agenda conversations. It's very open, it's very raw and I think that's why it resonates so well with both of us. And also we're both at a level in our lives where we can talk and you can hit a point and I'll be like oh, that's a new perspective. And then like, as you're talking, I can develop um, you know my standpoint on it, and then you kind of just build off of it, and I think that's why the conversations flow and I think it's hilarious and awesome and, of course, I'll come back again.
Speaker 1:Um, just cause.
Speaker 2:Why? Why not, man? It's like. It's like talking to a long lost family member when I'm here.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of things that you dealt with that I also dealt with too, except, you're more mature than I was at that age, and that's what I appreciate more about your brain, your thoughts, your soul is way more mature than I was back when I was where you're at right now in your career and everything. Appreciate that. Thank you for wearing the shirt, man. I'm going to be offering the shirts online, if folks out there just keep your eye out for it. I'm in the process of doing this. I do this completely on my free time. It's just an extra thing I do besides being a full-time dad, full-time job, nonprofit stuff. Just like you, man, I try to stay busy.
Speaker 1:I try, to you know, give back as much as possible. So thank you, sarum, first Class Stewart, for the conversation today. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me, brother. It's always a pleasure.
Speaker 1:Formation Nation. Today's conversation was another reminder that strength isn't just about how much weight you can carry. It's about the courage to admit that when that weight is too heavy and to seek out the right tools to keep moving forward. I want to have Sergeant First Class Stewart on again and we'll dive more into mental health side of it. We covered a lot of leadership stuff today which I think there's a lot to be learned from today's conversation. Sergeant First Class Stewart continues to prove that leadership is more about, there's more to leadership than just rank. It's more about impact. It's about the lives you shape, the voices that you lift and the people you refuse to give up on. So if you haven't already, pick up a copy of his book unspoken words.
Speaker 2:It's available on amazon, right amazon, barnes and noble target walmart, basically anywhere online.
Speaker 1:You know, and that book is more about you know, it's more than poetry, it's a lifeline for those who are struggling to put their own battles into words. Sergeant First Class Stewart, again, thank you so much for coming back and staying true to your mission, both in and out of uniform, and to our listeners. Remember I want you to remember that it's okay not to be okay and to go out there and find that help. Until next time, everyone, I want you to stay tuned, stay focused and stay motivated. Warriors fall out.